Delving into shame, accountability, and racism, the speaker discusses being held accountable for racism and navigating shame. They share personal stories and strategies for handling shame-induced flight-or-fight responses. Exploring empathy, regulating emotions, and the importance of self-reflection in accountability.
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Quick takeaways
Accountability is essential for change, shame corrodes belief in growth.
Shame hinders empathy and social justice, while accountability fosters resilience and meaningful action.
Deep dives
The Difference Between Accountability and Shame
In this episode, Brené Brown discusses the importance of understanding the difference between being held accountable for racism and feeling shame. She emphasizes that shame is not an effective social justice tool and can actually hinder progress. Brown explains that shame corrodes our belief that we can change and do better, while accountability allows for growth and meaningful change. She offers strategies for managing shame, including recognizing physical symptoms and taking action to address the issue at hand.
The Power of Shame and its Effects on Empathy
Brown explores how shame can kill empathy, which is crucial for love and justice. She explains that shame turns our focus inward, making it difficult to fully understand and empathize with others' experiences. By recognizing the harmful effects of shame, Brown emphasizes the importance of practicing resilience and regulating our own emotional responses. She encourages fostering empathy as a foundation for social justice work.
The Armoring Process and the Need for Accountability
Brown introduces the concept of the armoring process, which we engage in to protect ourselves when faced with accountability. She explains that accountability is not about shaming or blaming, but rather holding individuals responsible for their actions. Brown emphasizes the importance of recognizing our own vulnerabilities and engaging in transformative action to address issues and make meaningful change.
Shame as a Barrier to Relationship Building and Growth
In this episode, Brown highlights how shame can hinder relationship building and personal growth. She underscores the negative impacts of shame on individuals and communities, such as stifling empathy and perpetuating injustice. By understanding the harmful effects of shame, she encourages listeners to cultivate shame resilience, regulate their emotional responses, and focus on taking constructive action.
In today’s solo episode, I share my thoughts about why accountability is a prerequisite for change and why we need to get our heads and hearts around the difference between being held accountable for racism and feeling shame and being shamed. I share my personal stories of being held accountable and holding myself accountable, as well as my strategies for pulling my “thinking brain” back online when I’m experiencing the flight and fight energy fueled by shame.