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The Liz Moody Podcast
Fighting Can Make Your Relationship Better—If You Do It THIS Way with Drs Julie & John Gottman
Jan 31, 2024
Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman discuss couple's therapy and relationships, including the impact of quality relationships on lifespan, different fighting styles, the 5:1 ratio for successful fights, signs of healthy/unhealthy relationships, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, love languages, building trust and happiness, handling irreconcilable fights, and advice for common listener fights.
01:19:45
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Quick takeaways
- Improving the quality of relationships has a greater impact on longevity than diet or exercise.
- Successfully initiating a conflict conversation within the first 180 seconds predicts the future of the conversation and the relationship with 90% accuracy.
Deep dives
The Impact of Quality Relationships on Longevity
Improving the quality of one's closest relationships, including friendships, love relationships, and relationships with children and family, has been shown to enhance longevity. Social epidemiology research has revealed that the quality of relationships has a greater impact on lifespan than diet or exercise. In moments of conflict, the heart rate of couples can increase, leading to stress hormones and fight-or-flight responses. Successfully initiating a conflict conversation within the first 180 seconds predicts the future of the conversation and the relationship with 90% accuracy. Fun and adventure are essential ingredients for healthy relationships as they foster intimacy, trust, and emotional connection.
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