10% Happier with Dan Harris Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert
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Dec 1, 2025 
Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a trauma specialist and author of 'Fawning', explores the concept of fawning as a relational trauma response that drives people-pleasing behaviors. She details the differences between chronic and situational fawning, discussing how it affects our daily lives and workplace dynamics. Clayton emphasizes the importance of recognizing and owning anger, as well as practical strategies to set boundaries and regulate the nervous system. She highlights that while wounding occurs in relationships, so does healing, advocating for deeper self-awareness and vulnerability.
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Fawning Is A Trauma Response
- Fawning is a relational trauma response where appeasing or caretaking reduces perceived threat.
- It’s an unconscious survival strategy, not mere people-pleasing or choice.
Connection As A Survival Strategy
- Fawning mixes fight/flight mobilization with hypoarousal and dissociation.
- The body prioritizes relational safety by leaning into connection as protection.
Power Shapes Survival Choices
- Power hierarchies (patriarchy, racism, classism) shape when bodies choose fawning over fight.
- Fawning often feels more adaptive when fight or flight would worsen danger.
