Stop Saying Um (And Fix the Other Vocal Tics That Are Sabotaging Your Speaking)
Jan 14, 2025
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In this enlightening conversation, Michael Chad Hoeppner, a communication coach for presidential candidates and author of Don't Say Um, dives into the intricacies of effective speaking. He emphasizes that public speaking requires physical engagement, offering playful drills like using Legos and even talking with a wine cork in your mouth. Michael shares strategies to eliminate filler words, enhance vocal variety, and improve gestures, while also highlighting the importance of self-compassion in overcoming vocal tics and managing nerves.
Physicality in speech delivery is crucial, requiring speakers to engage their bodies and muscles, similar to athletes training for performance.
Utilizing playful exercises like Lego building and ball throwing helps speakers improve clarity and confidence while learning to manage nerves.
Rather than suppressing filler words with mantras, effective communication involves actionable strategies that promote breathing, vocal variation, and genuine audience engagement.
Deep dives
The Importance of Delivery in Communication
Effective communication relies not just on the words spoken, but significantly on the way they are delivered. Studies consistently show that delivery creates a lasting impression on listeners, often overshadowing the content itself. A communication coach emphasizes the necessity of achieving a balance between crafting your message and refining its delivery. By improving delivery, individuals can enhance their thinking and develop smarter content, creating a positive feedback loop.
Overcoming Common Delivery Pitfalls
Many receive ineffective advice that suggests merely suppressing filler words or slowing down, which can lead to increased anxiety and minimal results. Instead, individuals should focus on actionable strategies that promote physicality in their speech. For instance, pausing allows for breathing and vocal variation, facilitating more thoughtful responses. Truly effective communication techniques help eliminate distractions, allowing speakers to engage their audience more genuinely.
Understanding Speaking as a Physical Act
Speaking involves a complex interplay of various physical actions that utilize numerous muscles, making it much more than a mental exercise. Adopting a sports-like approach to communication enhances performance and breaks the cycle of inadequate delivery habits. Just like athletes practice drills to develop their skills, speakers can learn through physical exercises designed to improve their presence and clarity. By acknowledging the full-body nature of speaking, individuals can leverage muscle memory to enhance their delivery rapidly.
Engaging Drills for Vocal and Gestural Improvement
Utilizing playful and engaging exercises can improve speaking delivery and boost confidence. Techniques such as using Legos to represent ideas help speakers learn the value of silence and structure their thoughts effectively. Additionally, throwing a ball against a wall while speaking can foster a sense of freedom with gestures, reinforcing energetic communication. These drills not only make practice enjoyable but also encourage the development of clarity and precision in speech.
Navigating Nerves and Enhancing Presence
Managing nerves is crucial for effective speaking, as tension can hinder clear communication. Rather than fighting nervousness, embracing it as a natural response and redirecting focus to physical aspects of speech can be beneficial. Techniques like grounding oneself or enhancing enunciation help navigate nerves by refocusing energy on the delivery process. By doing this, speakers can transform anxiety into a productive force that enhances their overall presence and connection with the audience.
Think about a time you've had to speak in front of others — maybe during a work presentation, a wedding toast, or even on a first date. Did you struggle with using too many filler words, such as "um" and "like," talk too fast, or awkwardly ramble?
Most of us try to fix these saboteurs of speech by giving ourselves mental mantras: "Slow down"; "Think about what you want to say."
But my guest would say that becoming a more engaging and effective speaker comes down to realizing that it's a very physical act that requires getting out of your head and into your body.
Michael Chad Hoeppner, a communication coach who has worked with everyone from presidential candidates to business executives, is the author of Don't Say Um: How to Communicate Effectively to Live a Better Life. Today on the show, Michael explains why you need to treat speaking as a sport and shares embodied drills and exercises — from playing with Legos to talking with a wine cork in your mouth to throwing a ball against a wall — that will fix common delivery problems, including eliminating ums, enhancing vocal variety, and managing your gestures.