Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children TPP 421: A Bonus Conversation with Dr. Stuart Shanker about Self-Regulation and Helping Our Children Successfully Engage with Life
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Dec 31, 2024 Dr. Stuart Shanker, a leading expert in self-regulation, discusses the alarming rise in anxiety among children, particularly neurodivergent ones. He identifies three main causes of this anxiety epidemic, including maladaptive self-regulation and oxytocin deficits. Shanker offers insightful strategies like using soothing voices and weighted blankets for touch-averse kids. He explains how parents can recognize stress signals and the importance of their own self-regulation. Ultimately, he emphasizes that fostering joy for children is paramount over adhering to parental expectations.
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Three Drivers Of The Teen Anxiety Epidemic
- Modern teen anxiety stems from three drivers: heightened stress, dopamine-seeking coping, and an oxytocin deficit.
- Restoring co-regulation with adults supplies oxytocin that turns off stress neurons and reduces maladaptive coping.
Use Parental Co-Regulation To Deliver Oxytocin
- Do offer soothing, low-voice, soft-eye contact and physical comfort to trigger oxytocin for teens and children.
- When peers co-stress, prioritize parental co-regulation and remove the child from harmful peer environments.
Experiment To Find Calming Touch Alternatives
- Try different kinds of touch and sensory supports to discover what calms a touch-averse child.
- Combine preferred pressure or scratching with being physically present and a soft voice to co-regulate effectively.
