Deep Cuts: Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
Aug 21, 2023
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Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology, discusses the power of self-compassion and how it doesn't lead to passivity, self absorption, or cheesiness. They talk about the paradox of mindfulness meditation and compassion, the importance of touch in triggering compassion, and different ways to practice self-compassion. They also explore the impact of self-compassion on managing self-criticism and introduce practical techniques to cultivate it.
Self-compassion is a valuable skill that reduces anxiety and improves well-being, without leading to passivity or self-absorption.
Integrating both masculine and feminine energies is crucial in practicing self-compassion.
Self-compassion is an embodied experience that can be enhanced through touch and a warm tone of voice.
Deep dives
Importance of self-compassion
Self-compassion is a mental skill that is easy to dismiss, but research shows it is valuable in reducing anxiety and improving overall well-being. It doesn't have to lead to passivity or self-absorption. Integrating both masculine and feminine energies is crucial, as self-compassion involves both being kind and supportive to oneself, as well as taking action and setting boundaries.
Cultivating self-compassion
Self-compassion can be practiced formally and informally. Formal practices like loving-kindness meditation and breath-based meditation can increase self-compassion. Informal practices can involve using touch to feel supportive, speaking to oneself in a friendly and supportive manner, or imagining how a compassionate person or spiritual figure would respond.
Embodied experience of self-compassion
Self-compassion is not just a mental practice; it is an embodied experience. By dropping out of our heads and tuning into our bodies, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reduce cortisol levels, and release oxytocin. Finding touch or using a warm tone of voice can enhance the embodied experience of self-compassion.
Overcoming gender roles in self-compassion
Gender roles and societal expectations can affect the way individuals relate to self-compassion. Men may find it challenging due to societal views of masculinity, while women may struggle with balancing self-compassion and assertiveness. Integrating both masculine and feminine energies is essential, allowing both warmth and action in self-compassion practice.
Benefits of Self-Compassion
A study showed that writing a self-compassionate letter for seven days reduced depression for three months and increased happiness for six months. The act of self-compassion involves perspective-taking and disidentifying with one's pain. It reminds us of our common humanity and adds a sense of kindness and care.
Practicing Self-Compassion
Self-compassion can be practiced through mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness. Mindfulness helps in recognizing when we are struggling, common humanity reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles, and kindness involves offering support, encouragement, and care to ourselves. It is important to personalize the practice and find phrases or mantras that resonate with our individual needs.