The Sabrina Zohar Show 17: Narcissism, avoidants and why anxious attachers date unavailable people with LMHC Jessica Baum
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May 12, 2023 LMHC Jessica Baum joins the podcast to discuss narcissism, anxious and avoidant dynamics, and how to date and spot a narcissist. The speakers explore setting boundaries with narcissists, the impact of avoidance and anxious attachment styles on relationships, understanding developmental shame and healing childhood trauma, avoiding responsibility in relationships, neurodivergent dating, the importance of eye contact and being rude, and techniques for managing anxiety in dating.
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Narcissism As An Early Developmental Wound
- Narcissism often stems from a primal early developmental wound that leaves no stable core self.
- Narcissists depend on external validation and manipulate relationships to avoid inner shame and vulnerability.
Use Boundaries As An Early Test
- Test boundaries early in a relationship to see how a partner responds to limits you set.
- Use their reaction to boundaries as a key indicator of whether the person can respect and reciprocate care.
Both Attachment Styles Stem From Fear
- Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles are avoidance responses to different wounds: abandonment vs intimacy.
- Both are fear states and adaptive protective strategies shaped by early insecurity.