Understanding Attachment Styles and Self-Regulation

Attachment styles are not a dating tool, but a way to understand ourselves and others. It is about having compassion and understanding for ourselves and our behavior. Secure attachment does not mean being problem-free, but knowing that we will be okay no matter what happens. It is not about finding someone with a specific attachment style, but understanding and accepting their needs and ours. We can't predict another person's attachment style, especially early on in a relationship. The goal is to self-regulate for anxiously attached individuals and co-regulate for avoidantly attached individuals. Both self-regulation and co-regulation are crucial for healthy relationships. Attachment styles are not about being broken, but about learning to heal and find regulation within ourselves and in connection with others.