Guest Michael Lomax, an expert in high conflict mediation, discusses 10 paradigm shifts essential for mediating high conflict disputes, focusing on problem-solving and client participation. They highlight the importance of avoiding apologies, guiding parties towards future-oriented solutions, and patience in reaching agreements.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Focus on Choices, Not Insights
Avoid giving parties insight into themselves during mediation.
Focus on present choices, not past actions, to avoid defensiveness.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Future Focus
Emphasize future actions and solutions in mediation, not past events.
Calmly redirect parties towards future-focused problem-solving.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Avoid Emotional Focus
Avoid emotional confrontations or questions about feelings in high-conflict mediation.
High-conflict individuals often get stuck in anger, so focusing on feelings can be counterproductive.
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Mediating high conflict disputes requires a shift from many standard mediation approaches. When one or more of the parties has a high conflict personality, the process should have more structure and focus away from common mediation topics, such as emotions, the past, and interests, and instead focus more strictly on problem-solving. By having the clients participate more actively in the process – and the mediator serve more as a guide for their active participation – they are more likely to reach their own agreements and follow them.
In today’s episode, Bill and Megan talk with attorney/mediator Michael Lomax, co-author of Mediating High Conflict Disputes (Unhooked Books, 2021) about 10 paradigm shifts that are necessary for mediating high conflict disputes, and serve as the backbone for the New Ways for Mediation®. They will also discuss why to avoid mediating apologies.
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People