How to set boundaries with therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab
Aug 22, 2023
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Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist and New York Times bestselling author known for her insights on boundaries, shares her expertise on establishing personal limits. She discusses the fear of rejection and how saying 'no' is essential for self-respect. Listeners learn about the emotional growth that comes from setting boundaries, especially within family dynamics. Nedra also explores the importance of effective communication and skepticism in relationships, emphasizing that understanding our emotions can lead to healthier interactions.
Setting boundaries is about taking responsibility for our own well-being, not about controlling others.
Open communication and respect for others' boundaries are important in strengthening relationships.
Deep dives
Importance of Setting Boundaries with Nedra Glover-Tawab
In this podcast episode, Adam Graham interviews Nedra Glover-Tawab, a therapist and author, about the importance of setting boundaries. Nedra shares her origin story as a therapist and explains how boundaries became a central focus in her work. She emphasizes that boundaries are not about controlling others, but about taking responsibility for our own well-being. Nedra discusses strategies for setting boundaries, such as adjusting them based on individual relationships and needs. She also highlights the significance of understanding our own emotions and using them as indicators for where boundaries may be necessary. Nedra provides insights on navigating boundaries in various contexts, including work and personal relationships, and emphasizes the value of open communication and respect for others' boundaries.
Navigating Boundaries in Relationships
In this segment, Adam and Nedra explore the challenges of setting and respecting boundaries in relationships. They discuss the conflict that can arise when individual boundaries clash, such as different preferences for communication times. Nedra suggests taking personal responsibility for boundaries without imposing them on others. She encourages open communication, recognizing that individuals have different needs and preferences. They also touch upon the fear of rejection and how being told 'no' can actually strengthen relationships by allowing honest and respectful conversations about boundaries.
Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
Adam and Nedra delve into the topic of setting boundaries in the workplace. They emphasize the importance of proactive communication and negotiation of boundaries with colleagues and supervisors. Nedra suggests establishing upfront boundaries when starting a new job or project. They discuss the challenge of asserting boundaries when not in a position of power, and offer strategies like proactively communicating personal policies and engaging in conversations about boundaries. They also stress that respecting boundaries at work contributes to improved well-being and productivity.
Maintaining Calm and Reflecting on Boundaries
Adam and Nedra discuss the role of maintaining calm in setting and respecting boundaries. Nedra advocates for finding quiet moments and engaging in activities that help center oneself, such as spending time in nature or engaging in mindful activities like reading or puzzles. They also touch upon the question of meditation, with Nedra suggesting that meditation is not limited to a formal practice, but can be found in various activities that promote mindfulness. They conclude by highlighting the value of reflecting on emotions and thoughts before sharing them with others, allowing for personal introspection and perspective.
As a therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab has spent years helping people set boundaries in their personal and professional lives. As the New York Times bestselling author of the books “Drama Free” and “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” her wisdom often goes viral on Instagram and beyond. Nedra sits down with Adam for an insightful discussion on why people struggle with creating boundaries, how we can deal with saying “no,” and why setting a boundary is the ultimate act of self-respect. Transcripts for ReThinking are available at go.ted.com/RWAGscripts
