What Deeply-Connected Couples Don't Do | Amy Morin
Dec 24, 2023
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Amy Morin, psychotherapist and bestselling author, reveals the habits that erode relationships and the tools needed to build resilient joy. Topics include the benefits of conversations about why couples got together, Subaru's Share the Love Event, addressing weaknesses in positive psychology, the impact of keeping secrets in deeply-connected relationships, the dynamics of martyrdom, focusing on what really matters, healthy couples meeting emotional needs, and regular check-ins for a healthy relationship.
Open and honest communication is crucial in a healthy relationship, including addressing secrets that may damage the partnership.
Recognize and support each other's individual growth instead of trying to change or fix your partner.
Understanding the dynamics of arranged marriages can provide insights for navigating love-based relationships and promoting long-term happiness and satisfaction.
Deep dives
Don't Keep Secrets
Being open and honest with your partner is crucial in a healthy relationship. It's important to differentiate between privacy and secrecy, and to address secrets that can damage the relationship. Communication is key in discussing these secrets, acknowledging the reasons behind keeping them, and expressing remorse or offering to make amends.
Don't Try to Fix Each Other
Trying to change or fix your partner can be detrimental to the relationship. Recognize that everyone has their own journey and growth process. Instead of focusing on fixing, embrace and support each other's individuality.
Arranged Marriages vs. Love-Based Marriages
Research suggests that arranged marriages may have higher levels of long-term happiness and satisfaction compared to love-based marriages. Arranged marriages often involve more deliberate effort and commitment, while love-based marriages may rely more on intense romantic feelings that may fade over time. Understanding the different dynamics can help couples navigate their own relationships.
Avoid Martyrdom
Becoming a martyr in your relationship, constantly sacrificing without joy or accepting help, can lead to bitterness and resentment. It's essential to recognize and communicate your needs and find a balance between giving and receiving in the relationship.
Building Healthy Communication and Asking for Help
In this podcast episode, the importance of developing healthy communication and asking for help in relationships is discussed. People often struggle to express their suffering and pain on the inside, so they try to show it in tangible ways. Learning to ask for help and offering help in a way that can be received is crucial in fostering a balanced partnership. It is about recognizing the need for individual work and self-worth while also understanding the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship.
Creating Regular Conversational Check-ins
The podcast highlights the significance of creating regular conversational check-ins in relationships. Setting aside specific times to have open and honest conversations without fear of retribution allows couples to address and defuse any building issues. It provides an opportunity for both partners to express themselves, actively listen, and reflect on each other's words. By establishing guidelines and repeating these check-ins, couples can strengthen their communication and maintain a healthy connection.
What makes some couples thrive for decades while others fizzle out? Psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin reveals the habits that erode relationships and the tools needed to build resilient joy in her latest book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do. Drawing on research and years of counseling experience, Amy shares how small changes can transform even the most challenged partnerships.
Learn how to reconnect with your partner's best self - and your own. Discover why arranged marriages often get happier over time, while many romantic relationships decline. Healthy love takes work, but it's possible. If you've ever felt disconnected from the magic that first drew you together, this conversation is for you. Amy provides honest wisdom and gentle guidance for crafting enduringly satisfying long-term relationships.
