The Daily Stoic

David Kessler on Finding Meaning in Grief and Practicing the Art of Memento Mori

Oct 5, 2024

David Kessler, a grief and loss expert and co-author of works with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, shares his profound insights on embracing mortality. He emphasizes how acknowledging death can enhance our appreciation for life and how grief can ultimately lead to finding meaning. Kessler reveals his personal journey through loss after the death of his son and the transformative power of grief, urging listeners to embrace both joy and sorrow. With wisdom rooted in Stoic philosophy, he encourages living with intention and cherishing meaningful connections.

01:11:47

Episode guests

David Kessler

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Quick takeaways

David Kessler emphasizes that embracing death through memento mori can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

The introduction of a sixth stage of grief, meaning, highlights the importance of finding purpose within personal loss and sorrow.

Humor plays a significant role in navigating grief, allowing individuals to experience joy alongside their sadness and forge deeper connections.

Deep dives

The Impact of Grief on the Human Experience

Grief is a universal emotion that can alter one's perspective on life. The podcast emphasizes that everyone experiences loss, yet how it is processed can vary greatly. Renowned grief expert David Kessler shares that despite his extensive experience helping others navigate grief, losing his own son transformed his understanding of sorrow. He highlights that true grief doesn't conform to a timeline; instead, it evolves and often intertwines with love.

Embrace the Hero's Journey

01:02

Embrace Struggle to Find Meaning

01:22

Embrace Feelings: They Are Data, Not Facts

01:30

Embrace Growth Through Pain

01:47

Intro

2min

Embracing Mortality: Lessons from Grief

6min

Embracing Mortality: Insights from Stoic Philosophy

11min

Finding Fulfillment Through Mortality and Connection

4min

The Illusion of Immortality Through Accomplishment

2min

Navigating Grief and Legacy

17min

Transforming Grief into Meaning: Insights from Personal Loss and Viktor Frankl

3min

The Stoic Approach to Grief and Personal Struggles

5min

Navigating the Landscape of Grief

15min

10.

Embracing Joy and Grief

13min

11.

Embracing the Present and Acknowledging Life's Changes

2min

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Death is inevitable for all of us and practicing the art of Memento Mori reminds us to live each day to the fullest and with virtue.

David Kessler, a grief and loss expert, joins Ryan today to talk about why a meaningful life comes from embracing rather than fearing death, how grief can shape our understanding and appreciation of life, the balance between grief and joy, and how losing his son changed everything he thought he knew about grief.

David’s personal experience with grief started very young, as a child witnessing a mass shooting while his mother was dying in a hospital. For most of his life, David has taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about the end of life, trauma, and grief. Even after years of studying grief and counseling those experiencing it, his life was turned upside down by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son.

David co-authored two books with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, including On Grief and Grieving, and after experiencing the death of his son, he updated her 5 stages of grief with a 6th stage: meaning.

📚 Grab signed copies of Finding Meaning and the Finding Meaning Workbook by David Kessler at The Painted Porch https://www.thepaintedporch.com/

Go to griefbook.com and follow David Kessler on Instagram and X | @IAmDavidKessler

📕 Our favorite translation of Seneca’s essays on grief and loss, Hardship and Happiness (The Complete Works of Lucius Annaeus Seneca) is available at The Painted Porch | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/

🪙 Designed with the intention of carrying them in your pocket, our Memento Mori Medallion is a literal and inescapable reminder that “you could leave life right now.”

Check it out at https://store.dailystoic.com/

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