Everyday Better with Leah Smart

What Your Self-Talk Says About You, and How To Change It

Aug 12, 2025
In this insightful discussion, Kimberley Quinlan, a therapist and anxiety specialist focusing on self-compassion, explores how our self-talk shapes our mental health. She recounts how harsh self-criticism can paralyze us and offers practical exercises to assess self-compassion. They dive into the transformative power of recognizing our shared humanity, emphasizing vulnerability and connection. Kimberley also shares strategies for managing negative thoughts, advocating for a kinder inner dialogue, and embracing imperfections for a more fulfilling life.
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ANECDOTE

The Two Arrows Parable

  • Kimberley Quinlan tells a parable about being hit by an arrow and then jamming a second arrow into yourself by self-criticism.
  • She uses this image to show that self-blame doubles suffering instead of aiding recovery.
INSIGHT

Self-Compassion Boosts Performance And Health

  • Research links self-compassion to better mental and physical health and higher productivity.
  • Kimberley Quinlan says compassion reduces procrastination and helps people tackle hard tasks faster.
INSIGHT

Criticism Triggers Fight-Or-Flight

  • Kimberley Quinlan explains that self-criticism activates fight-or-flight and raises bodily stress and anxiety.
  • This biological response undermines wellbeing and fuels procrastination, depression, and distress.
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