#790 - Vienna Pharaon - How To Overcome A Difficult Childhood
May 30, 2024
01:23:14
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Therapist Vienna Pharaon discusses understanding childhood emotional needs, breaking free from ingrained patterns, and improving relationships. Topics include acknowledging past traumas, validating childhood experiences, and seeking self-worth through healing and setting boundaries.
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Quick takeaways
Understanding oneself is crucial for self-care and relationship improvement.
Exploring family dynamics unveils foundational frameworks for behavior.
Childhood experiences can lead to self-worth tied to achievements.
Addressing past emotional wounds is essential for personal growth and healing.
Deep dives
Understanding Self-Care Through Self-Understanding
Self-care is deeply rooted in understanding oneself. By delving into one's emotional needs unmet during childhood, individuals can unveil patterns affecting their adult lives. Recognizing the unresolved past's influence on current behavior is crucial for personal growth and relationship improvement.
Inspecting Family Systems for Personal Insight
Family systems play a pivotal role in shaping beliefs and behaviors. Beyond blood relatives, friends and caregivers contribute to these systems. Exploring childhood experiences within family settings unveils foundational frameworks for navigating conflicts, establishing expectations, and understanding relationships.
Impact of Family Systems on Sense of Worth
Family dynamics often dictate conditional love, influencing one's sense of worthiness. Perfectionism and people-pleasing behaviors stem from the belief that love is based on achievements. Reflecting on childhood experiences can reveal the origins of self-worth tied to performance and acceptance.
Navigating Unresolved Emotional Wounds
Unresolved emotional wounds from past experiences significantly impact adult behaviors. Revisiting and addressing childhood wounds like a lack of emotional safety and trust can lead to self-awareness and personal growth. Recognizing patterns linked to past traumas is essential for healing and transforming relationships.
Overcoming Deprioritization Patterns
The experience of feeling deprioritized as a child can manifest as patterns in adulthood. Seeking validation through prioritization from significant others or downplaying personal needs are common outcomes. Addressing the wounds associated with deprioritization can lead to healthier relationships and self-empowerment.
Understanding the impact of trust ruptures and safety
Trust ruptures, whether from major betrayals like infidelity or subtle instances like broken promises, can deeply affect relationships. Safety, intertwined with trust, reflects feeling respected, secure, and valued in relationships. Recognizing these trust dynamics can aid in improving communication, setting boundaries, and navigating conflicts effectively.
The journey towards self-compassion and change
Embracing self-compassion involves acknowledging why one resists it and what purpose this resistance serves. Unpacking the roots of self-criticism and resistance leads to profound personal growth. Making lasting changes entails gradual shifts in behaviors and responses, not perfection but consistent efforts towards understanding and self-compassion.
Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an author.
Learning to understand yourself can be the most powerful form of self-care. It helps you fix bad habits and improve your relationships with others. But how do you actually begin to understand who you are, and how do you start the process of becoming unstuck?
Expect to learn how to reconcile what you needed as a child emotionally but never actually got, where your patterns in life come from, why people have so much resistance around opening up about their past and their family, how to avoid getting stuck wallowing in your history, Vienna’s favourite questions people should ask of themselves, how you can unwind your patterns and much more...