Logan Ury, the author of 'How to Not Die Alone' and director of Relationship Science at Hinge, dives into the world of modern dating. She debunks the myth of 'the spark' and shares what actually sustains relationships. Logan explains the effects of attachment styles on dating outcomes and introduces different dater types—romanticizers, maximizers, and hesitators. With practical tips for creating compelling dating profiles and avoiding dealbreakers, she emphasizes the importance of informed decision-making for deeper connections.
53:12
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
insights INSIGHT
Relationships as Decisions
A great relationship isn't about luck, but a series of good decisions.
Bad decisions lead to repeating negative patterns, resulting in unsatisfying or no relationships.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Three Dating Tendencies
Identify your dating tendency (Romanticizer, Maximizer, or Hesitator) to understand your blind spots.
Address unrealistic expectations to improve your dating outcomes.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
The 37% Rule
Use the 37% rule to avoid maximizing and endless searching for "the one."
Commit to someone as good as or better than the best person you dated in the first 37% of your dating life.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
In 'Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions', Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths illustrate how algorithms used by computers can be applied to various human problems. The book covers topics such as the optimal stopping problem, sorting, caching, and randomness, providing practical advice on decision-making, managing time and resources, and understanding human cognition and behavior. It emphasizes the importance of calculated risks, breaking down problems into manageable parts, and embracing randomness and uncertainty in decision-making processes.
How Not to Die
Michael Greger
Gene Stone
In *How Not to Die*, Dr. Michael Greger examines the top 15 causes of premature death in America, including heart disease, various cancers, diabetes, Parkinson's, and high blood pressure. He explains how nutritional and lifestyle interventions can often be more effective than pharmaceutical and surgical approaches in preventing and reversing these diseases. The book includes Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen, a checklist of foods to consume daily for maximum health benefits, and is backed by extensive scientific research and evidence.
Logan Ury, the author of How to Not Die Alone and director of Relationship Science at Hinge,joins me to share her best tips for all things dating. Logan provides practical tips for avoiding dating blindspots, the drawbacks of unrealistic expectations, and algorithms to live by for finding a satisfying relationship.
We discuss how ‘dealbreakers’ may be an excuse for avoiding connection, how attachment styles affect our dating outcomes, the paradox of choice in the dating world, and how to get out of the checklist mindset. She also breaks down the most common dating tendencies, shares strategies behind making the best decisions, explains why ‘the spark’ may be B.S., and even offers how-to advice for creating a powerful dating profile. Even if you’re not dating, you will learn techniques that will strengthen all your relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why the spark is total BS—and what actually makes a relationship last
How your dating type (romanticizer, maximizer, or hesitator) is messing with your love life
The secret to making better choices in dating—so you can finally find your person
Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
Sex With Emily 
