What Is A Good Life? #146 - The Hidden Gifts Of The Shadow with Steven D'Souza

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Oct 28, 2025

In this enlightening discussion, Steven D'Souza, an award-winning author and leadership coach, explores the transformative power of shadow work in leadership and personal growth. He reflects on his journey from a pursuit of the priesthood to his quest for meaning and aliveness. Steven argues for embracing our shadows as sources of wisdom, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and acceptance over relentless self-improvement. Ultimately, he defines a good life as one characterized by kindness—to ourselves, others, and nature.

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ANECDOTE

Formative Year In Religious Community

Steven D'Souza spent a year living with Vincentian priests doing youth work, Alzheimer's care, homeless shelter work and teaching in Glasgow.
That year shaped his questions about meaning, service and aliveness rather than a lifelong priesthood.

INSIGHT

Aliveness As The Life Goal

For Steven, the goal of life is 'aliveness' — feeling fully human to joy and pain alike.
He links spiritual growth to growing in humanity rather than separating spirituality from everyday life.

ANECDOTE

Working With Young Offenders

Steven worked with young offenders at Feltham Young Offenders and found many were illiterate, very young parents, and not the 'evil' caricature.
That experience challenged simplistic good/bad narratives and shaped his interest in shadow behavior.

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On the 146th episode of What is a Good Life?, I’m delighted to welcome Steven D’Souza. Steven is an award winning author, executive educator, trusted advisor, leadership coach and keynote speaker. He is a Senior Partner in the Leadership & Professional Development Practice at Korn Ferry, a leading global Organisational Consulting firm. His expertise crosses the fields of psychology, organisational development, diversity, group dynamics, contemplation and social capital. He has spoken globally to organisations such as PwC, TikTok, Financial Times and the United Nations. His work has been featured in Harvard Business Review, The Independent and The Sunday Times.

In this conversation, Steven reflects on his early pursuit of the priesthood and his lifelong inquiry into meaning, service, and aliveness. Drawing on themes from his latest book, Shadows at Work, he shares how meeting the shadow with curiosity and compassion brings wholeness, and how embracing uncertainty, silence, and kindness can lead to a more grounded, vital way of living.

This conversation invites you to see the shadow not as something to fix, but as a hidden source of energy, wisdom, and aliveness.

For more of Steven's work:

Website: https://stevendsouza.com/

Contact me at mark@whatisagood.life if you'd like to explore your own lines of self-inquiry through 1-on-1 coaching, my 5-week group courses, or to discuss team coaching to stimulate greater trust, communication, and connection, amongst your leadership teams.

- For the What is a Good Life? podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos
- My newsletter: https://www.whatisagood.life/
- My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/

00:00 — Steven’s lifelong question + year pursuing priesthood

04:24 — Leaving the path & formative books (Kopp, de Mello)

07:27 — Stories as truth; practice over tips

10:12 — Aliveness; “I grow in my spirituality by growing in my humanity”

13:01 — Bringing the vertical into the horizontal (everyday life)

13:28 — Why Shadows at Work; prisons, corporate paradox, “dark mode”

19:36 — “Know my shadow and my light”: beyond Jung; four lenses

23:08 — Defining shadow; biology, culture, spirit lenses in practice

31:02 — Personal shadow work

37:04 — Paradoxical theory of change; acceptance over improvement

40:43 — Negative capability (Keats)

46:53 — Via negativa & subtraction; “bring silence with you”

52:29 — The edge of the unknown; reactions & catastrophic thinking

58:56 — What is a good life? “A kind life.”