In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
Sherry Turkle's "Reclaiming Conversation" delves into the impact of technology on human connection and communication. The book explores how our reliance on digital devices affects our ability to engage in meaningful face-to-face interactions. Turkle argues that technology, while offering convenience, can hinder our capacity for empathy and genuine understanding. She emphasizes the importance of fostering authentic communication in an increasingly digital world. The book offers valuable insights into the challenges and opportunities of navigating the complexities of human interaction in the digital age.
In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
This book, written by sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, delves into the specific challenges women encounter with burnout. It provides a comprehensive, science-based approach to reducing stress and enhancing well-being. The authors define burnout as a combination of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment, and they offer practical solutions such as completing the biological stress cycle, managing emotional triggers, and overcoming societal pressures. The book is divided into sections that explain the stress cycle, the impact of cultural norms on women's stress levels, and strategies for rest, human connection, and self-compassion. It includes helpful worksheets and exercises to empower women to combat burnout and achieve genuine wellness[1][3][5].
Are we expecting too much from our jobs - and is it costing us our health, relationships and happiness?
This week I’m delighted to welcome back someone who is regarded as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern relationships, the psychotherapist Esther Perel. Fluent in nine languages, Esther has her own therapy practice in New York City, serves as an organisational consultant for multiple Fortune 500 companies and is also the author of the New York Times Bestselling books, ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’.
Although Esther is probably best known for her teachings and wisdom on our romantic relationships, more recently she has turned her attention to our work relationships. The occasion for this appearance on my podcast is to celebrate the release of her brand new 100-question card game designed to transform your work culture – one story and one relationship at a time.
In this thought-provoking conversation, we explore how our expectations of the workplace have shifted dramatically – and why it’s creating both opportunity and strain. Esther shares that in the past, work was primarily about survival, duty and financial stability. But today, many of us are looking to our jobs to provide identity, belonging, fulfilment and even self-worth.
We discuss:
- Esther’s four key pillars of healthy workplace relationships – trust, belonging, recognition and collective resilience – and why these needs mirror those in our romantic lives
- How unresolved workplace issues can lead to emotional exhaustion, poor health choices and a reduced capacity to connect at home
- How our increasingly digital lives are reducing the everyday social skills we need to connect, communicate and collaborate
- How our personal relationship history – our “unofficial CV” – shows up at work and influences how we handle authority, conflict, feedback and boundaries
- Why managing conflict well can deepen connection – and how curiosity and honest self-reflection can transform how we show up in all areas of life
Throughout our conversation, Esther offers compassion and clarity, breaking down complex emotional patterns into simple, human truths we can all relate to – and, most importantly, act on.
She encourages us to approach work relationships not as transactional, but as relational, inviting us to bring the same level of curiosity, empathy, and accountability that we would bring to any meaningful connection.
At a time when so many of us are feeling isolated or overwhelmed, Esther’s advice shows that even small shifts in how we relate, listen and respond can spark meaningful change at work, with our families and ourselves. I hope you enjoy listening.
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