Not For Everyone 25. For You: Making and Maintaining Adult Friendships That Lift You Up
Friendship Requires Mutual Readiness
- Friendship matching is as crucial as dating compatibility.
- Everyone is just trying to live their life without personal malice toward you.
Treat Friendships Like Work
- Treat forming new friendships like a job that requires upfront effort.
- Accept the initial discomfort since meaningful connections grow over time.
Create Shared Environments
- Create shared environments like leagues or classes to foster friendships.
- Regular shared activities help friendships grow via common experiences.
This deep-dive on friendships brought to you by countless listener DMs and years of oscillating between loneliness and social burnout. The balance is hard to strike and the stumbling never ends, but if we had to summarize our tips for finding lasting friendships, they might look something like:
- Accept that making new friends takes time and will contain disappointment
- Know that not every connection needs to be your deepest in order to serve you
- Allow space for friendships to breathe when the ebs and flows of life happen
- Be mindful of how you approach your friends for help, and how you offer help to them in return
- Beware of possessive friendships and passive-aggressive behavior
- Be honest with yourself about the friendships you can and should prioritize
In conclusion, everyone's just trying to live their lives. Plus some stupider tidbits we threw into the episode for good measure, including Caroline's iPhone notes from 2017, a hidden talent Jess discovered in herself this week, and the origin story of the phrase "having a time." AND ALSO, a drop-in from our editor, Abi! Now let Jess get back to her ugly night.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!