

Not For Everyone
Not For Everyone
Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We're just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you.
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
Episodes
Mentioned books

Oct 30, 2025 • 1h
145. Hater Hour ft. My Fiancé Justin | A Feel-Good Hater Powwow
It’s Hater Hour up in here! But not just one hater; Caroline’s fiancé Justin is also joining the chat, and boy if he isn’t a sassy baby. The two start out by discussing some of Justin’s personal hates: the phrase “you’re allowed to feel that way” and people’s obsession with outer space. Then, a third hater joins: their cat, Whitley! They chat all about why they got the cat and what Whitley has meant to their lives so far.But wait, there’s more! They dive into toxic patterns of people they used to date, feeling alive in relationships, and ideas about home renovations. And then some more complaints: air travel and lack of community. Are they all doom and gloom, though? You’ll just have to see! This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Oct 23, 2025 • 1h 11min
144. Am I The Hater: When Your Friend's New Relationship Is Ruining Everything
Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. __Hello to our haters and lovers! Though today, the haters are really shining. Jess and Caroline read through a few listener submissions for their series Am I The Hater? Topics include taking a roommate’s absence personally, pointing out a friend’s boyfriend’s babyface, and canceling on attending a wedding for a curious reason.Of course, these questions turn into deeper conversations, where J and C ruminate on judgement replacing communication, learning who your friends really are, what acceptance really means, and the give/take process in relationships. If you’re the hater, we don’t want to be the lover, because these crazy behaviors belong to our type of people. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Oct 16, 2025 • 1h 22min
143. Not for High School + Why Your Existential Crisis Keeps Coming Back
Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONECheck out the lace Fits Everybody Collection at https://skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner __If you find yourself looking back at high school and wondering…what was that? You’re not alone. Jess and Caroline start out the episode ruminating on the universal feeling of trying to fit in while feeling very alone at pivotal ages in our lives. This conversation leads into a deeper thought spiral about insecurity, constantly seeking for meaning, and why organized religion isn’t always the answer.Plus, J and C follow up on their homework assignment: were they able to not step in to save a potential awkward social situation? Could they not act over-the-top for the express purpose of making someone else feel validated? You’ll just have to find out. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Oct 9, 2025 • 1h 26min
142. Not for Hard Work + Parasocial Relationships and the Perception of Authenticity
This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM__What’s up, kooks? Ever had a parasocial relationship? Us, too. Jess and Caroline discuss the creators they relate to, why those relationships are special, and why they’re kind of weird, too. Up next: a complaint! J has a weird retail experience, which leads the two to discuss the weird blame game people play, and how built-up resentment equals the end of customer service. Then, they discuss motivation from another angle. It’s kind of a chicken/egg situation: does motivation come first, or does action come first and then motivation? They ruminate on the difference between motivation and momentum, and consider that passion may just be a part of the grind. Is it luck or hard work? Plus, ‘tis the season: C has been having some wedding-related nightmares…P.S. Here’s the Peaking episode that Jess referenced on the fallacy of hard work.This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Oct 2, 2025 • 1h 20min
141. Not for Surprises + Why Your Impulse to Help Is Not Helping
Hi there, kooks! This week, Caroline and Jess have a surprise party to debrief on. C was shocked to discover friends and family—including J—at her parent’s house, and is honestly still recovering. J tells her side of events and then the two discuss feeling loved and the best ways to pull off that sort of surprise.Then J reveals that she and her partner traded their traditional social roles at a party recently, and it made her consider again if she’s doing too much in her relationship(s). What are the ways we connect with people? What could a party be like if we didn’t try so hard to connect people? And what would life feel like if we knew the line between helping and harming the possible connections around us? C and J talk all things breaking codependency and then offer a little homework assignment to you: it’s easy, ostensibly—be baby. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Sep 25, 2025 • 1h 28min
140. WHATADO: When Passion Can't Fix a Job (and Coworkers) You Hate
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. __House party! Jess is in town and she and Caroline record IN PERSON from Caroline’s living room. J finally gets the down low on C’s cat, and it’s everything you ever hoped for. They talk all things cat life (and sing a little jingle) before diving into a few work WHATADOs.The first revolves around finding what you’re passionate about, and how to make sure your content connects with people while keeping the spark alive for yourself. So much existentialism! The next focuses on the balance between loving your job and hating your coworkers, and the last touches on advocating for yourself when work you’re capable of keeps getting given to other people. Werk werk werk werk werk, baby boos!This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Sep 18, 2025 • 56min
139. Not for the Multiverse + Proof That Your Gut Is Always Right in the End
Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner__Welcome to the N4E megachurch, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline navigate the multiverse, exploring how reading and horror movies make them think of different versions of themselves on some parallel timeline, and how gamifying everything leads to some odd religious connections. It truly is a multiverse of topics in this episode, as they get into sexual harassment at work, dealing with doubt about your gut feelings, young people with too much power, and how putting people on a pedestal is a dangerous game. Plus, they celebrate a huge milestone! If you were wondering, J and C will always hold you in the palm of their hands. Bless up.This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Sep 11, 2025 • 1h 22min
138. Hot Takes Only: Bachelorette Parties, Breastfeeding, and Toilet Humor
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Get up to 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/NOTFOREVERYONE10FM__Feeling spicy? Perfect, because Jess and Caroline are ready to serve up a few hot takes. They discuss baristas complimenting you, tipping culture, sci-fi movies, toilet humor, oreos in water (!), motorcycles, and coed bachelorette parties and baby showers. But they don’t stop there! In fact, these topics are merely entries into a world of even deeper hot takes. They dive into their confusion about cities and states, breastfeeding rumors, scary movies, best pantry snacks, and yes, Jess tries once more to get more info about Caroline’s new cat. Will she reveal anything? You’ll just have to find out. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Sep 4, 2025 • 1h 12min
137. Not for Sound Baths + The Real Reason You Feel Inexplicably Drained All the Time
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE and get on your way to being your best self.__Y’all! It’s time for the dumb phone update everyone’s been waiting for. Caroline and Jess talk through C’s transformative experience of being somewhat off the grid. They discuss all things phones and social media, from graphic design meant to keep you online to deleting social media to what they’re doing instead of scrolling.This conversation leads to deeper conclusions about being committed to having a life full of peace, and J ruminates on a random day out that led her to feel more alive than she has in a long time. They discuss the point of life, planning less, and letting boredom happen. Slow down babies! And warning: you’re gonna want to toss your phone after this one. More about Light Phone here: https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=zdfknme This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Aug 28, 2025 • 1h 13min
136. Hot Not Bothered Summer: Dealing with Rejection, Dating Droughts, and Friends Who Don’t Get It
Welcome to the last Hot Not Bothered episode! Jess and Caroline tackle some difficult WHATADOs, answering questions about how to date after trauma, how to approach being the only one in your friend group who’s dating, and how to accept being “too much” in the dating world. Plus, they talk about being wingmen, how to know if a relationship is good, themed get togethers, and the secret to letting loose and meeting people in public. Also, you don’t want to miss Jess’s stellar Office reference. I feel God in this podcast, what about you? This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!


