

Not For Everyone
Not For Everyone
Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We're just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you.
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jan 1, 2026 • 1h 7min
154. Not for Cottage Cheese + Letting Go of the Need to Be Chosen [Holiday Hug]
The holidays are rife for loneliness and feeling down about your situation. So we wanted to send you a little bolstering, and some reasons to hang in there...plus a bit of time travel. This episode comes from the Not For Everyone archives, it originally aired on April 21, 2023 and the original recording took place a few hours before Caroline met Justin for the very first time. Jess and Caroline unpack the fear of abandonment, and the exhausting belief that your worth is tied to how well you perform socially. Caroline opens up about a messy breakup, taking a break from dating, and nervously heading into her first date with Justin that night. Jess meets her there with her own reckoning around feeling lovable without being likable. Along the way: therapists asking the rudest question imaginable (“what if you didn’t have to do anything?”), petty beef with cultured food trends, a question for Bugs Bunny, and a reality-TV podcast gripe. Equal parts vulnerable, unhinged, and experimental—this one has the full spectrum.The episode also includes a lot of important commentary on cottage cheese. You're welcome.This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Dec 25, 2025 • 1h 21min
153. Not for Microdosing + Your Official Pep Talk for That Hard Conversation [Holiday Hug]
Welcome to Holiday Hug, where the N4E team extends a warm embrace from their Christmas break to yours - because let's be honest, the love isn't always flowing when we're back in our childhood homes. This week opens with your lover as she takes us back to Episode 87, an all-time favorite of hers from the archives. It's one she thinks back on often, as she and Caroline recorded it just moments before a very difficult conversation she knew she was going to have to face. Jess talks about what it feels like to be over a year out from that moment, and invites the kooks to re-listen since she knows this time of year can be filled with uncomfortable dialogue and unwanted confrontation.The episode from the archives also features a loaded listener WHATADO about a friend who got a bit too close for comfort with her partner, plus a story from Caroline about the time she ruined the vibes at a dinner party (read: she was on shrooms). Many reasons this episode was one for the books! Please enjoy as you take a much needed break from family time, and we'll be back to hug you once more next week before all-new episodes in 2026.This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Dec 18, 2025 • 1h 4min
152. Hot Takes Only: Holiday Edition
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. __Happy holidays, kooks! Jess and Caroline have convened to discuss all things holiday hot takes. From opening presents one person at a time to staying with family even when you’re drained to the correct Christmas light colors, they unleash their inner demons to validate your concerns. Plus, expect a deeper talk spurred from a listener DM about family commenting on how much you’re eating (TW: eating disorders), and a discussion about gift giving in general. Are you allowed to say you dislike a gift? Are Justin and Ryan good gift-givers? And is eggnog good?? Grab a candy cane and get cozy. We’re going there. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Dec 11, 2025 • 1h 12min
151. Not for Candy Canes + Debating Dumb Topics to Avoid Our Work Stress
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/notforeveryone10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life!__Kooks, welcome to another week of takes that are not for everyone! Jess and Caroline jump right in with a discussion on how we should be able to disagree with each other without it meaning the relationship is damned. They talk about those friends who just love to debate, and then try out a few This-or-Thats to see if they can get into fights with each other.Then Jess dives deep into why she’s felt work overwhelm for the past little while, and they problem-solve how to prioritize schedules, in both corporate jobs and for self-employed people. And what a convenient segue into doubling down on why remote work kind of blows! Then they end with a few complaints about compliments and drinks. ‘Tis the season! This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Dec 4, 2025 • 1h 12min
150. Ask Us Anything + Hot Takes That Will Get Us Fired from the Internet
This podcast is sponsored by Aura Frames. Get $35 off the Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SCIENTIST with code SCIENTIST.Shop our favorite pajamas at https://skims.com/. Be sure to let them know we sent you by selecting "podcast" in the dropdown menu following checkout. __Happy three years to N4E! Jess and Caroline reflect about their time as podcast co-hosts, and then dive into a couple complaints about, well, talking to each other on the internet. They discuss the difference between in-person conversations and online ones, activism on the internet, and they do a little follow-up on some of their hottest takes that got them in the throes of internet anger. Then, they launch into a few listener-submitted questions! They discuss everything from nasty sex questions to celebrity crushes to what they judge people about to guilty pleasures. They end with a little love fest about all they’ve accomplished together and offer a few kisses, just for you. This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Nov 27, 2025 • 1h 19min
149. Ask A Therapist: In-Laws, Sex, and the Stuff You're Not Talking About | ft. Kate Berman, AMFT
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONE__Happy Holidays, kooks! Today, Jess and Caroline call in an expert - who also happens to be one of Jess’s closest friends: Kate Berman, AMFT - to discuss your WHATADOs just in time for that awkward family dinner.They start off strong with a question about whether the listener should join her boyfriend’s family vacation even after his father seemed less than pleased with the idea. Then they move into a question about unexpected divorce, which leads them down a rabbit hole on the pain of being misrepresented. Kate shares her insights on when couples therapy is most valuable before the three dive into their last juicy WHATADO: all about if you’re having enough sex in your relationship. What if we divest from society’s expectations? What if we accept that there are seasons to our sex lives? They explore it all, just for you.Kate is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) who is passionate about helping clients increase self-awareness, harness their innate strengths, and ultimately improve the quality of their relationships - with self, loved ones, the environment, and their sense of purpose. Drawing on her interdisciplinary background in psychology, yoga, and public health, she helps clients explore the root causes of their challenges and the beliefs that keep them feeling stuck. If you are based in California and looking for support, learn more and reach out to her here.This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Nov 20, 2025 • 1h 16min
148. Not for Business Class + When You Aren't Cut Out for the Soft Life
Go to https://Zocdoc.com/NOTFOREVERYONE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. #sponsored __The duo is back after a couple vacations, and they’ve got a lot to say about travel. First up, a complaint about business class flights, some thoughts on international airlines, and some ideas about cafe culture and different paces in life. Plus…you don’t want to miss another shocking Instagram story, this time involving button quails. Jess and Caroline talk about how to make money in the digital world, respect for the risque hustle, why limited options actually make you work a little harder, and the reason cold-calling is pretty annoying. Glad to be back, kooks! This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Nov 13, 2025 • 58min
147. Love Letter: Purpose Without Parenthood + The Only Way to Get That Friend Back
Shop our favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/NOTFOREVERYONEGo to https://www.hellofresh.com/notforeveryone10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life!__If you woke up feeling all lovey dovey, it’s probably because you just KNEW a Love Letter was coming for you <3. Jess is here post-vacation to talk through some listener-submitted WHATADOs. She starts with a question about friends drifting apart right before a wedding, and dives deep into ego in friendships and also just…missing each other.Next up is a WHATADO about finding purpose when you don’t want kids. Jess talks all about the definition of “loved ones” and “community” and urges listeners to expect the best instead of the worst when going against the grain. She wraps up the episode with a hot take on the viral “Is It Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend” article, and a couple artsy updates. Kisses!This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). Subscribe to Prince Abi's Substack at www.abinewhouse.substack.com.And listen to Jess's Peaking podcast here! __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Nov 6, 2025 • 1h 11min
146. Not for Whole Foods + The Vibes Are Off at Girls Night, and We Know Why
Explore the quirks of Whole Foods as Jess and Caroline vent about its vibe and prices, while loving the coffee. They navigate the complexities of household chores, bonding over home design projects that spark joy. Jess's decision to delete Instagram brings a refreshing focus to their lives, sparking a discussion on social balance. They contemplate the joy of home gatherings over clubbing, and suggest replacing nights out with private dance parties—because sometimes, it's all about the right vibe at home!

Oct 30, 2025 • 1h
145. Hater Hour ft. My Fiancé Justin | A Feel-Good Hater Powwow
It’s Hater Hour up in here! But not just one hater; Caroline’s fiancé Justin is also joining the chat, and boy if he isn’t a sassy baby. The two start out by discussing some of Justin’s personal hates: the phrase “you’re allowed to feel that way” and people’s obsession with outer space. Then, a third hater joins: their cat, Whitley! They chat all about why they got the cat and what Whitley has meant to their lives so far.But wait, there’s more! They dive into toxic patterns of people they used to date, feeling alive in relationships, and ideas about home renovations. And then some more complaints: air travel and lack of community. Are they all doom and gloom, though? You’ll just have to see! This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). __Share with a friend!Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePodPlus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:@not4everyonepod@thegoodsitter@jzdebakeyYou can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.And don't forget about our APPAREL:nfepodapparel.com__Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA__DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!


