It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Worth Repeating: Turning Down High Conflict at Work with Cherolyn Knapp

Dec 4, 2025

Join lawyer and mediator Cherolyn Knapp as she dives into navigating high-conflict behavior at work. Cherolyn shares insights on managing workplace tensions, using EAR statements to de-escalate conflicts, and why traditional disciplinary methods can backfire. She explores subtle and passive-aggressive behaviors that disrupt teams and highlights the importance of communication skills. Additionally, Cherolyn discusses innovative coaching methods that can transform difficult workplace dynamics, offering hope for those dealing with challenging relationships.

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ADVICE

Connect First With EAR Statements

Use EAR (empathy/attention/respect) statements to calm and connect with upset coworkers or internal stakeholders before problem-solving.
After connecting, move into analyzing options to find practical solutions rather than arguing about blame.

ADVICE

Bring In The Other Supervisor Early

If cross-department conduct persists, invite the other supervisor to a joint meeting to set communication parameters.
Frame it as improving how the teams work together and agree how feedback will be given.

ADVICE

Train Teams To De-Escalate Quickly

Teach your team EAR statements so frontline staff can de-escalate visitors and redirect to problem-solving.
Calm people first so they can think clearly and join you in brainstorming options.

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In this classic episode from the archives, special guest Cherolyn Knapp joins Bill and Megan to tackle listener questions about managing challenging workplace dynamics. They explore how high conflict behavior manifests in professional settings - from overt confrontations to more subtle forms of workplace disruption.

The hosts examine why traditional disciplinary approaches often backfire, discussing instead how skills-based interventions can transform difficult workplace relationships. They emphasize the importance of recognizing that problematic behavior doesn't always present as obvious conflict.

Key Workplace Challenges Addressed:

Managing interdepartmental tensions
Responding to passive-aggressive behavior
Supporting targeted team members

Essential Skills Explored:

Using EAR statements for de-escalation
Analyzing options before taking action
Setting appropriate professional boundaries

Drawing from their extensive experience, the hosts provide practical guidance for both supervisors and employees facing challenging workplace dynamics. They emphasize the importance of developing specific communication skills rather than relying on confrontational approaches.

This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating difficult workplace relationships, whether as a manager protecting their team or an individual seeking to improve a challenging situation. The discussion highlights how proper training and support can transform seemingly intractable workplace conflicts.

Additional Resources

Books & Expert Publications:

Training & Professional Development:

New Ways Training Programs (for workplace professionals)
Individual Workplace Coaching
Custom Training for Organizations
Conflict Influencer Class (for personal situations)

Connect With Us:

Visit High Conflict Institute
Submit questions for Bill and Megan
Browse our complete collection in our online store
Find all episode notes on our website

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

(00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
(01:34) - Welcome Back Cherolyn
(03:05) - Listener Question #1: Dealing With a Workplace Bully
(09:38) - EAR Statements and Connecting
(11:57) - What to Say
(13:57) - How High Conflict ‘Presents’
(17:04) - Passive Aggressive
(19:36) - How to Deal With Them
(22:43) - Dealing With Abuse Enablers
(28:55) - New Ways for Work
(35:50) - New Ways for Work Leaders
(39:42) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Another Guest!