Defining Healthy Masculinity & How to Build It | Terry Real

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Dec 29, 2025

Terry Real, a renowned therapist and author focused on male emotional health, dives into the complexities of masculinity today. He explores how evolving definitions of masculinity impact mental health and offers insights on the importance of vulnerability and connection. Highlighting the need for strong male friendships, Terry discusses tools for healthy emotional expression and the transformative power of relationality. He sheds light on addiction as a response to disconnection and emphasizes building self-esteem from within.

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Stoicism Harms Men

Traditional stoic masculinity enforces invulnerability and disconnection, which harms men's mental health.
Terry Real argues we need progressive masculinity that combines strength with relationality and emotional access.

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Ask For Help, Not Demands

When feeling sad or frustrated in a relationship, negotiate and ask for help instead of demanding attention.
Ask "What do you need?" and offer reciprocal support to restore connection quickly.

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Inside-Out Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem comes from inside and endures beyond performance and failure.
Real teaches men to feel proportionally bad about bad behavior while holding warm regard for themselves.

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