In this discussion, Joe Hart, President and CEO of Dale Carnegie, dives into the art of uncovering others' values through meaningful conversations. He shares practical techniques for asking the right questions, which helps to illuminate what truly matters to others without awkwardness. Joe emphasizes the importance of empathy and the power of interpersonal skills in building relationships. He also introduces a 'conversation stack' method to ease networking anxieties, making connections more genuine and impactful.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Understanding Others' Perspectives
Focus on understanding others' perspectives instead of imposing your own.
Ask questions like, "Why do you believe that?" or "Tell me more about that."
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Starting Conversations
Start conversations with factual questions to build rapport and find common ground.
Use questions like "Where did you grow up?" or "What do you do for fun?"
volunteer_activism ADVICE
The Conversation Stack
Use the "conversation stack" to guide your initial interactions.
Start with general questions like "Where are you from?" or "What brought you here today?"
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Find Your Inner Strength, Build Enduring Relationships, and Live the Life You Want
Joe Hart
Michael A. Crom
Take Command provides powerful tools and time-tested methods to help individuals live an intentional life by transforming their approach to thoughts, emotions, relationships, and future. The book is filled with stories of everyday people and insights from over a hundred high-performing leaders, offering strategies to unlock full potential and create a desired life.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].
Joe Hart: Take Command
Joe Hart began his career as a practicing attorney. After taking a Dale Carnegie Course, Joe reassessed his career path and future, ultimately leaving the practice of law, going to work for a top real estate company, and then founding an innovative e-learning company and serving as president of health and wellness company. In 2015, Joe was named president and CEO of Dale Carnegie.
The CEO Forum Group named Joe as one of twelve transformative leaders, giving him the Transformative CEO Leadership Award in the category of the People. He is the host of a top global podcast, Take Command: A Dale Carnegie Podcast, and he speaks around the world on topics such as leadership, resilience, and innovation. He is the author with Michael Crom of Take Command: Find Your Inner Strength, Build Enduring Relationships, and Live the Life You Want*.
In this conversation, Joe and I explore how to discover another person’s values through meaningful conversation. We examine three types of questions to ask that gradually illuminate what’s important to another person. By knowing what to ask and what to listen for, we can uncover values without asking a more awkward question like, “What are your values?”
Key Points
Dale Carnegie invited us to, “Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.” Use three types of questions to frame a conversation that uncovers another person’s values:
Examples of factual questions:
How did you first find out about…?
What keeps you busy during the week?
What do you like to do for fun?
What hobby or activity holds your interest?
Examples of causative questions:
What got you interesting in doing this kind of work?
How did you get involved in that hobby?
What do you like about…?
What caused you to enter into this industry?
Examples of values-based questions:
Tell me about someone who’s had a major impact on your life.
If you had to do it over again, what — if anything — would you do differently?
Tell me about a turning point in your career.
Tell about about something that you look back on as a high point or moment of pride.
How did you get through a major challenge in the past?
How would you describe your personal philosophy in a sentence or two?
Resources Mentioned
Take Command: Find Your Inner Strength, Build Enduring Relationships, and Live the Life You Want* by Joe Hart and Michael Crom
Related Episodes
Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)
Discover Who You Are, with Hortense le Gentil (episode 459)
How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590)
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