Stress can get in the way of our communication with others. To manage our stress, psychologist Jenny Taitz says, we first need to adjust the conversations that we have with ourselves.

Taitz is an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles, and the author of several books, including Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes. According to her, much of the stress we experience is self-created through negative thought patterns and harsh self-criticism. “We're doing this to ourselves all the time,” she says. But as we become aware of these unhelpful mental loops, Taitz’ “resets” can help us disrupt them and reframe self-talk in more productive ways

In addition to changing our self-talk, Taitz offers tools for refreshing our communication with others. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, she and host Matt Abrahams explore her G.I.V.E. framework — how being gentle, interested, validating, and easy-mannered equips us for more positive conversations with ourselves and others

Episode Reference Links:

• Jenny Taitz: Website 
• Jenny’s Book: Website 
• Communicator Jenny admires: Sharon Salzberg 
• Ep.69 Feeling Nervous? How Anxiety Can Fuel Better Communication: YouTube / Website 
• Ep.122 How to Be More Confident and Calm in Your Communication: Managing the "ABC’s" of...: Youtube

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Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

Host Matt Abrahams introduces guest Jenny Taitz, a clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at UCLA.

(00:00:51) Understanding the Stress Cycle

Explanation of the stress cycle, highlighting common mistakes in stress management.

(00:02:38) Practical Tips for Managing Stress

Advice on resetting the mind, body, and behavior to manage stress more effectively.

(00:05:50) Addressing Overthinking and Rumination

Techniques for reducing overthinking and rumination, and recognizing and redirecting unproductive thought patterns.

(00:08:45) Swapping "Why" for "How"

Benefits of changing one's internal dialogue from "why" to "how" questions, facilitating a more proactive and less stressful mindset.

(00:10:56) Communicating Empathy

Introduction to the GIVE acronym, a method to help improve empathetic communication.

(00:12:58) The Final Three Questions

Jenny shares her personal methods for managing stress, a communicator she admires, and three ingredients for successful communication.

(00:17:33) Conclusion