The Genius Life 493: How to Stop Obsessing Over People Who Hurt You, Backed by Neuroscience | James Kimmel, Jr.
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May 28, 2025 
James Kimmel, Jr., a Yale-trained lawyer and violence researcher, dives deep into the neuroscience of revenge and its grip on our minds. He elaborates on how the thrill of vengeance mimics addiction, highlighting the psychological price we pay for it. Kimmel shares compelling stories of forgiveness from Skid Row, illustrating its healing power over trauma. He also discusses the complex dance between justice and revenge, unpacking societal perceptions that complicate our understanding of retribution. Ultimately, he advocates for forgiveness as a pathway to personal growth and healing.
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Revenge Triggers Addiction Circuits
- The brain reacts to revenge desire similarly to drug addiction, activating pleasure and craving circuits.
- Revenge cravings cause dopamine release and activate reward systems but also lead to regret and increased anger.
Manage Revenge with Forgiveness
- Use addiction-informed recovery approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy to control revenge cravings.
- Forgiveness activates brain areas that shut down pain and craving, offering a powerful healing tool.
Kimmel’s Near-Tragic Revenge Story
- James Kimmel Jr. was bullied and harassed on a farm, which escalated to gunshots and killing his dog.
- He nearly retaliated with a gun but stopped at the last moment, saving himself from tragedy.
