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Martha Higareda Howes: Opening Up About Our Journey To Marriage (Our Step-By-Step Process + A Huge SURPRISE!)

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Jun 23, 2025

Guest

Martha Higareda

Martha Higareda Howes, a renowned Mexican actress and writer known for her work in Netflix's 'Altered Carbon' and now married to Lewis Howes, shares her profound insights on relationship preparation. They discuss their year-long journey leading up to marriage, emphasizing intentionality, workshops, and therapy. Martha candidly reveals her struggles with controlling relationship patterns, while Lewis opens up about prioritizing acceptance over perfection. Their commitment to protecting their bond in the face of family pressures during their wedding day showcases the essence of true love.

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ADVICE

Premarital Workshops Build Foundations

Take a premarital workshop to build a strong marriage foundation.
Engaging with experienced couples and discussing key subjects is powerful preparation.

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INSIGHT

Control Stems From Childhood Safety

Controlling behavior in relationships often comes from childhood safety mechanisms.
It is a protective measure born from early insecurity and lack of trust.

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ADVICE

Choose Acceptance Over Control

Accept your partner fully instead of controlling or trying to change them.
Embrace acceptance to create safety and connection in your relationship.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Building a Strong Marriage Foundation

03:34 • 6min

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Navigating Control and Connection in Relationships

09:51 • 10min

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The Action of Love: Building Strong Relationships

19:50 • 6min

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Building Resilient Relationships

25:39 • 9min

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Embracing Imperfections in Relationships

34:51 • 5min

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Navigating Love and Family Dynamics

40:19 • 14min

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Navigating Emotions on the Wedding Day

53:54 • 5min

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Navigating Wedding Dynamics

58:27 • 13min

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Navigating Relationship Dynamics

01:11:01 • 17min

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Navigating Relationship Agreements and Intimacy

01:27:51 • 17min

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Power Dynamics in Relationships: The Dangers of Control and Manipulation

01:44:33 • 2min

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Navigating Marriage: Intimacy, Goals, and Communication

01:46:15 • 9min

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Building Foundations for Marriage and Parenthood

01:55:09 • 13min

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Exploring Love, Growth, and Financial Freedom

02:07:45 • 4min

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In 'Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love', John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman provide a step-by-step guide to help couples navigate the challenges of long-term commitment. Drawing from their extensive research at the Love Lab, the authors outline eight essential conversations that couples should have to build a strong and lasting relationship. Each date is designed to address a different critical topic, including trust, conflict, intimacy, finances, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. The book includes exercises, open-ended discussion questions, and suggestions for where to have these dates, aiming to foster deeper understanding, empathy, and connection between partners.

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!

Most couples rush into marriage without building the foundation that actually matters, but Martha Higareda Howes, accomplished actress and my wife, shows us what intentional relationship preparation looks like. We dive deep into our year-long marriage preparation journey, revealing the workshops, therapy sessions, and difficult conversations that created unshakeable unity before we even said "I do." Martha vulnerably shares how she learned to break free from controlling patterns rooted in childhood safety mechanisms, while I open up about requiring acceptance over perfection from a partner. The most powerful moment comes when Martha demonstrates true partnership by choosing our marriage agreements over family pressure during our wedding day crisis, proving that real love means protecting the relationship you're building together. Anyone dating seriously, engaged, or married will walk away with a blueprint for creating the kind of relationship that thrives under pressure rather than crumbles.

Martha on Instagram

The Greatness Mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today

The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives

The School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a Legacy

In this episode you will learn:

How to break free from controlling relationship patterns that stem from childhood safety mechanisms
The marriage preparation program framework that creates unshakeable foundations before your wedding day
Why accepting your partner completely is more powerful than trying to change them
How to navigate family boundaries when creating your new marriage unit
The conflict resolution method that prevents resentment from building over time

For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1788

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Dr. Caroline Fleck – greatness.lnk.to/1774SC

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Get more from Lewis!

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