Relationship Advice

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107: Rethinking Marriage

Aug 9, 2017

Guest

Susan Pease Gadoua

Guest

Vicki Larson

Vicki Larson, an award-winning journalist, and Susan Pease Gadoua, a licensed therapist, dive into the evolving landscape of marriage. They discuss alternatives to traditional marriage models, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and aligning expectations with partners. The conversation explores topics like open marriages and the concept of personalized agreements, encouraging a shift away from stigma towards inclusive and innovative relationship structures. Their insights aim to empower listeners to rethink what commitment means today.

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Episode notes

Intro

00:00 • 4min

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Rethinking Marriage: Embracing Diversity in Relationships

03:31 • 5min

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Redefining Marriage: Overcoming Stigma and Embracing Change

08:19 • 4min

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Rethinking Marriage: Personalized Agreements

12:18 • 8min

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Redefining Relationship Norms

20:43 • 27min

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The Importance of Self-Examination in Relationships

47:57 • 3min

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Navigating Relationships Through Self-Check-Ins

51:11 • 6min

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Engaging in Relationship Dialogue and Resources

57:32 • 2min

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Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

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In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.

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In this book, Eli J. Finkel presents a groundbreaking investigation of marriage, showing that the best marriages today are superior to those of earlier eras. He combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice, discussing the evolution of marriage from providing basic needs like food and shelter to modern expectations of love, companionship, and personal growth. Finkel introduces 'lovehacks' and strategies for better communication and responsiveness, and offers guidance on recalibrating expectations. The book is designed for anyone looking to improve their marriage, from newlyweds to empty nesters, and those considering marriage or remarriage.

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singles edition

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In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls 'love languages'. By learning these languages, individuals can discover their unique love languages and those of their loved ones, leading to deeper and richer levels of intimacy. The book includes practical steps and a love language assessment to help strengthen relationships. It emphasizes that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it, and understanding these differences can improve communication and relationship satisfaction.

#65443

The new "I do"

Susan Pease Gadoua

Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson's "The New I Do" challenges traditional marriage norms, offering alternative models for modern relationships. The book explores various relationship structures, including renewable contracts and live-apart-together marriages. It emphasizes open communication and conscious coupling, encouraging couples to define their relationships based on their individual needs and values. The authors advocate for removing societal shame from unconventional relationship choices, promoting self-awareness and honest dialogue. Ultimately, the book aims to empower couples to create fulfilling and lasting partnerships that align with their evolving lives.

Vicki Larson is an award-winning journalist in the San Francisco Bay Area and Susan Pease Gadoua is a licensed therapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area and author of "Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go" and "Stronger Day by Day: Reflections for Healing and Rebuilding After Divorce ." Together they wrote "The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels".

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

Learn the many interesting alternatives to traditional marriage.
Why it's important to be clear on what you want in your marriage or relationship.
Why matching your expectations with your partner's is a key to a successful marriage.
Open marriages and how they can be structured.
Creating a contract for your relationship in order to find success.
And much more!

Full Show Notes at http://idopodcast.com/107 Sponsors Talkspace: The online therapy company that believes that therapy should be affordable, confidential and convenient. Join over 500,000 people who have used Talkspace for online therapy with their licensed therapist. Get $30 off your first month when you visit Talkspace.com/IDO. Audible: Use the link below, and sign up for a free 30-day trial and one free audiobook download! You will have to enter your CC information, but you can just cancel the trial at the end of the month if you don’t like it and not pay a dime. There are a ton of great relationship audiobooks on Audible.com. Consider downloading The 5 Love Languages for your free download. Audibletrial.com/idopodcast If you love the show, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review! It really helps, and allows us to keep bringing you these episodes each week! - Chase & Sarah

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