Relationship Advice

They unpack vulnerable reaching and how gentle, attuned responses catch that vulnerability. They contrast true outreach with criticism, demands, and passive aggression. They role-play repair conversations and explain why soft responses are hard. They offer practical steps to shift negative cycles, practice repair after conflict, and build safer, more connected relationships.

Explore the two-date rule and why it’s crucial to give second chances in dating. Discover how first dates can mislead due to nerves and circumstances. Learn to 'test the waters' of vulnerability by starting with low-depth disclosures to gauge responses. Find out how to build trust gradually, avoiding oversharing too soon. The hosts emphasize the importance of safe emotional practices while dating, ensuring connections grow steadily and healthily.

In this episode, we explore what a negative relationship cycle is and why couples get stuck repeating the same patterns during conflict. We explain how protective moves like criticism, shutdown, fixing, or withdrawal are attempts to regain safety—not signs that one partner is “the problem.” Knowing your cycle helps partners slow things down, take accountability for their part, and reduce shame. This awareness creates the foundation for staying regulated and eventually responding with more vulnerability and connection. Main Talking Points • Negative cycles • Protective moves • Self-protection patterns • Triggers & meaning • Awareness before change Give Me Discounts! ⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the dynamics of couples therapy as hosts discuss who typically reaches out for help. Discover the concept of 'safety in sameness' and how shared values create comfort. Delve into the 'basement metaphor' to illustrate surprises when deeper differences arise. Learn practical tools for couples, including world mapping questions and a weekly check-in to share highs and lows. Finally, get insights on exchanging formative stories to deepen understanding and connection.

The hosts dive into individuation, showcasing how personal differences shape relationships. They discuss how quirks can shift from charming to contentious when partners clash over needs. Sensory sensitivities and conflicting values often spark misunderstandings. By prioritizing curiosity over being right, couples can foster healthier conversations. Role-playing conflicts offers insights into validation and understanding, emphasizing the importance of realistic expectations and boundaries for enduring partnerships.

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026⁠ Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 ⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover why one partner feels the urge to talk while the other shuts down. The hosts delve into how different nervous system thresholds affect communication in relationships. Get insights on recognizing your emotional cues and effective strategies for taking breaks during conflicts. Learn about unique dysregulation styles and the importance of safety and empathy. They share metaphors to enhance understanding and offer proactive techniques to expand your window of tolerance, fostering deeper connections.

Discover why setting couple values is vital for reconnecting and maintaining harmony in 2026. Learn how mismatched values can lead to major disconnects through engaging analogies. Get practical tips for designing a year around shared values while balancing individual needs. Colter shares his personal insights and experiences, emphasizing the importance of regular recalibration to stay aligned. Don't miss the workshop opportunity to boost your relationship dynamics and make it thrive!

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December. Main Talking Points: • Milestones as reset • Why resolutions fail • Values over goals • Couples intention talks • Season-of-life reality • Gentle self-compassion Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the intriguing pursuer-withdrawer dynamic that often sparks misunderstandings in relationships. Dive into how personal histories and internal stories shape perceptions of each other's behaviors during conflicts. Learn about projection in emotional situations and how to challenge these reflexive responses. Gain insights into nervous system effects and tools like curiosity to enhance communication. Practical strategies for navigating tough conversations could bring couples closer instead of driving them apart.