The New Rules of Attachment, feat. Dr. Judy Ho (Type 8)
May 24, 2024
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Dr. Judy Ho, a psychologist specializing in attachment styles, discusses the impact of early attachment bonds on relationships, exploring the concept of secure attachment in adulthood. The conversation dives into the relationship between attachment style and Enneagram type, self-talk influences, and the practice of re-parenting for personal growth and healing.
Childhood bonds shape adult relationships through attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure.
Re-parenting and self-nurturing are crucial for fostering secure attachment and inner healing.
Personal growth, self-awareness, and supportive connections are key to achieving secure relationships and flourishing.
Deep dives
Understanding Attachment Styles and Self-Healing
Attachment styles are discussed in this podcast episode with a focus on how childhood bonds shape adult relationships. Four attachment styles - anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure - are explained. Anxious types prioritize others over themselves, while avoidant types seek control and isolation. Disorganized types often face constant fear and chaos, impacting their trust in themselves and others. The journey to secure attachment is highlighted as evolving self-awareness and self-compassion through re-parenting.
Challenging Self-Talk and Lifelong Learning in Personal Growth
The importance of self-talk and continuous personal growth are emphasized. Anxious self-talk involves feelings of inadequacy, while avoidant self-talk fixates on control and self-reliance. Disorganized self-talk reflects chaos and self-blame. Re-parenting, a process of self-nurturing and setting healthy boundaries, is identified as key to fostering secure attachment. Lifelong learning and curiosity form the foundation for inner healing and transformation.
Personal Stories Shaping Attachment and Healing Narratives
Personal anecdotes shared by the hosts highlight the role of impactful caregivers in shaping attachment styles. Reflecting on maternal and paternal figures, the hosts underscore the significance of stable, nurturing influences in fostering secure attachment. Memories of influential figures prompt contemplation on passing on positive influences to others, creating a cycle of supportive relationships and healing.
Cultivating Secure Attachment Through Personal Reflection and Connection
The hosts delve into the process of achieving secure attachment through personal reflection and connection. Sharing experiences of grief and personal growth, they advocate for intentional re-parenting practices and self-compassion. Reiterating the importance of connection and self-awareness, the conversation focuses on fostering secure relationships and inner healing for personal flourishing.
Empowering Others Through Shared Healing Journeys and Secure Bonds
The hosts encourage listeners to embark on their healing journeys towards secure attachment and personal growth. By sharing vulnerable stories and insights, they aim to inspire others to cultivate secure bonds with themselves and those around them. Emphasizing the transformative power of self-awareness and supportive connections, the conversation nurtures a sense of community and healing for all.
When we’re born into this world, we’re just soaking everything up, trying to figure ourselves out and learning about other people and our place in the world. “Those initial lessons become imprinted into our later childhood and adulthood as rules of thumb for how we should operate in the world,” explains Dr. Judy Ho. The way we develop bonds, learn to attach (or not) to people in childhood impacts impacts every aspect of our lives: friendships, careers, goal-setting, and our sense of self. But what if you could learn to become securely attached, even as an adult? How can you reclaim your ability to feel safe, loved, and capable of thriving?
In today’s rich conversation with Dr. Judy Ho, we explore:
The four attachment styles
The relationship between attachment style and Enneagram type
How to reparent your inner child and start the journey toward secure attachment
ABOUT DR. JUDY HO
Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage. An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological assessments and expert witness work. You can learn more about Dr. Judy Ho and her work on her website or in her new book, The New Rules of Attachment, How to Heal Your Relationships, Reparent Your Inner Child and Secure Your Life Vision.
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