Psychologist and professor Ryan Martin discusses anger management, triggers, processing anger, physiological responses, and communicating effectively in this insightful podcast episode.
Anger arises from external triggers and internal interpretations, involving appraisal and situational factors.
Communication strategies for dealing with anger include intention setting, respectful dialogue, and empathetic responses.
Before expressing anger, evaluate the significance of the issue and consider the impact on well-being for effective emotional engagement.
Deep dives
Understanding the Complexity of Anger
Anger is a complex emotion that arises from a combination of factors, including the provocation or stimulus, our mood at the time, and how we interpret the situation. While it is common to attribute anger to external triggers, such as someone's actions, our own internal factors and appraisals play a significant role. It's important to carefully evaluate whether we have experienced poor treatment or injustice, if our goals are being blocked, and our own contributions to the situation. By considering these factors, we can better understand the legitimacy and intensity of our anger.
Expressing Anger Effectively
When it comes to processing and expressing anger, it is essential to have clear intentions and goals. Venting can be a cathartic release, but it is important to differentiate between unproductive venting and productive processing. Sharing our anger online should be done with intention, considering whether we seek support, want to influence others, or communicate with the person causing the anger. Calm and respectful communication, modeling the desired tone, validating the other person's emotions, and discussing potential solutions are often more effective ways to address anger and promote understanding.
Navigating Angry Interactions
When confronted with someone who is angry, it is crucial to avoid responding with commands to calm down or relax, as these tend to escalate tensions. Instead, we can exercise empathy and model a calm demeanor through our tone and body language. By using a gentle voice, speaking softly, and acknowledging the other person's feelings, we can help de-escalate the situation and create a more constructive dialogue. It is also beneficial to address the underlying concerns and offer potential solutions while avoiding agreements or validations of unjustifiable anger.
Anger Management in Writing
When considering writing an angry email or message, it is essential to reflect on the intention behind it. Understanding the desired outcome can guide our content and tone. Taking time, like sleeping on it or waiting a few minutes, to reread the message can allow for a more objective evaluation before sending it. Seeking a second opinion from a trusted friend can provide valuable insight into the potential impact and tone of the message. Additionally, considering the use of emoticons, capital letters, and formatting can help align the message with the intended goal.
Choosing Which Anger to Engage With
Not every situation deserves our anger, and it is essential to assess the significance of the issue before engaging with it emotionally. Examining our level of personal investment and the potential impact on our well-being can help determine whether getting angry is worth our time and energy. Recognizing that not all perceived injustices require a response can help us focus on the issues that truly matter and employ our anger more effectively.
Do you have a fiery temper? Or when you get mad, do you just seethe and keep it all inside? Is there a "right" way to get angry? This week, Noah and Raj welcome "The Anger Professor" Ryan Martin, a psychologist and professor at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay to help us understand why we get mad and what we can do to channel our anger into more positive territory.
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