Joining Dr. Becky is James Clear, the best-selling author of 'Atomic Habits,' known for his expertise in habit formation. They tackle the challenges of developing good habits for both parents and children. The conversation highlights the importance of making habits obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. Clear shares innovative strategies like the 'two-minute rule' to integrate self-care into busy parenting routines. They also explore how fun and intrinsic motivation can transform habit-building into an enjoyable process for kids.
Starting with small, achievable actions and making habits enjoyable can lead to successful behavior change.
Cultivating adaptability and embracing uncertainty in parenting can foster resilience and joy.
Deep dives
Developing good habits with small changes
In this podcast episode, Dr. Becky talks to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, about making small changes to develop good habits. Clear emphasizes the importance of starting with little steps to make a big difference. He discusses the challenges of decision fatigue and guilt when it comes to working out and offers a solution: using a personal training app like Future, which takes away the need to make decisions and adjusts workouts to fit individual needs and circumstances. Clear also addresses the struggle of practicing self-care habits as a parent and offers advice on how to approach this challenge with forgiveness, flexibility, and understanding the seasons of life. By focusing on mindset, identity change, and the power of making habits enjoyable, Clear provides valuable insights and practical strategies for parents to cultivate positive habits for themselves and their children.
The importance of adaptability and mindset in parenting
In this segment, Dr. Becky and James Clear discuss the importance of adaptability and mindset in parenting. Clear talks about the mental toughness needed to handle uncertainty and the need to let go of the expectation of having a perfect system. Instead, he encourages parents to cultivate a mindset that can handle uncertainty and adapt to different situations. He highlights the resilience that comes from being able to embrace the challenging periods of parenting and adjust habits and priorities accordingly. Clear emphasizes the value of developing a mindset that can handle uncertainty and finding joy in the moments, even in the face of difficulties.
The power of identity change and the two-minute rule
Clear explains the relationship between behavior change and identity change. He highlights the importance of considering the kind of person one wants to become and how small habits contribute to cultivating that desired identity. Clear introduces the concept of the two-minute rule, which involves scaling down habits to make them more manageable and focusing on the art of showing up. He advises starting with small, achievable actions that can be done in two minutes or less, leading to a sense of mastery and the establishment of a habit. He stresses the significance of focusing on the internal reward of feeling good about oneself and the behaviors, rather than relying solely on external praise.
How to build habits with children
In the final part of the podcast, Dr. Becky and James Clear discuss practical strategies for building habits with children. Clear outlines four key steps: making the habit obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. He suggests creating visual cues and making habits enjoyable to increase their effectiveness. They emphasize the importance of finding ways to make habits more enjoyable and focus on intrinsic rewards rather than solely relying on external praise. Clear encourages parents to engage in conversations that help children recognize the internal rewards and positive feelings associated with their habits. They also discuss the significance of mindset and attitude in shaping behavior and identity.
Developing good habits is hard. Whether it's for us as parents or for our children. This week, author James Clear joins Dr. Becky to talk about the four things you and your kids need to do in order to develop good habits.
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To listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy
For James Clear’s best-selling novel: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
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