Julie Lythcott-Haims, former associate vice provost at Stanford and author of 'How to Raise an Adult', shares her insights on empowering young people. She discusses the delicate balance of guiding them into adulthood while fostering independence and resilience. The conversation dives into embracing imperfection, encouraging proactive mindsets, and the art of effective communication. Lythcott-Haims emphasizes the importance of authentic connection and compassion in conversations with youth, helping them navigate their journey with confidence.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Empowering Responsibility
Communicate expectations of increasing responsibility to your children.
Frame responsibility as a positive, empowering opportunity, not a burden.
insights INSIGHT
Importance of Tone
A parent's tone and body language significantly impacts a child's perception of their message.
Strive for a supportive yet emotionally distant approach to avoid over-parenting.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Bias Toward Action
Encourage a "bias toward action" to overcome feeling stuck in adulthood.
Embrace imperfection and focus on learning through experience.
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In this book, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and her own insights as a mother and student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. She offers practical alternative strategies that emphasize the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. The book is relevant to parents of toddlers, teens, and twentysomethings, and serves as a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
Your Turn
How to Be an Adult
Julie Lythcott-Haims
In 'Your Turn: How to Be an Adult', Julie Lythcott-Haims provides a groundbreakingly frank guide to adulthood. The book focuses on the process of becoming an adult, rather than adhering to traditional markers such as finishing education, getting a job, leaving home, marrying, and having children. Lythcott-Haims offers compassion, personal experience, and practical strategies for living a more authentic adulthood. She includes interviews with diverse individuals who have successfully launched their adult lives, emphasizing the importance of personal integrity, moral behavior, self-compassion, and self-love. The book encourages readers to take an active role in shaping their lives, learn to fend for themselves, and build meaningful relationships and careers[3][4][5].
“Communication is such a delicate dance and kids need to emerge from childhood having practiced,” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, former associate vice provost of undergraduate education Stanford University.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, lecturer and podcast host Matt Abrahams sits down with Lythcott-Haims to discuss her new book, Your Turn: How to be an Adult, and ideas on how to communicate with young people so they feel empowered to take on the various (and often intimidating) duties of adulthood.
“Responsibility isn’t a bad thing,” she says. “Responsibility is actually an amazing thing. And I think we have to do a better job of narrating that truth.”
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Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques 
