The Art of Charm

Why Trying is Ruining You | Carla Ondrasik

12 snips
Dec 22, 2025
Guest
Carla Ondrasik
Carla Ondrasik, author of "Stop Trying" and former VP at EMI, dives deep into how the word 'try' keeps us from genuine change. She explains that 'trying' creates a false sense of productivity while trapping us in procrastination and fear. Carla highlights how our language shapes our behavior, revealing that decisive action boosts confidence and trust. Plus, she offers strategies to silence our inner critic and emphasizes the importance of starting with action, not motivation. Learn how to replace 'try' with 'do' for real transformation!
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INSIGHT

Try Creates False Progress

  • Saying "try" gives your brain dopamine as if progress happened, fooling you into feeling productive without action.
  • Carla Ondrasik warns this verbal habit creates long-term inaction and regret when nothing gets completed.
ANECDOTE

The Park Swimmer Who Stopped Trying

  • Carla tells a park story where a man listened to motivational talks but never swam until she told him to stop trying and go swim.
  • He swam the next day and later made major life changes after he stopped "trying."
ADVICE

Say Yes Or No, Not Maybe

  • Don't say "I'll try" to avoid obligations; say a clear yes or no to protect your time and relationships.
  • Carla advises honest refusals preserve reputation and reduce internal turmoil from uncertain commitments.
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