Why Trying is Ruining You | Carla Ondrasik
The Art of Charm
Rewiring Language: Replace 'Try' with 'Do'
Carla outlines awareness exercises to count 'try' usage and swap it for 'I am' or definitive language.
AJ and Johnny sit down with Carla Ondrasik, author of Stop Trying, to unpack why the word try is secretly holding you back from real change. Carla shares how “trying” tricks your brain into feeling productive while keeping you stuck — and why doing, not trying, is the antidote to procrastination, perfectionism, and fear.
They explore how language shapes behavior, why “I’ll try” destroys trust and momentum, and how replacing it with decisive action transforms confidence, relationships, and follow-through. You’ll learn how to silence your inner critic, embrace failure, and finally move from thinking about it to living it.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why “try” is the most dangerous word you use
04:00 – How “trying” fools your brain into false progress
08:00 – The psychology of fear, failure, and perfectionism
12:00 – How “try” damages trust and relationships
16:00 – Replacing “try” with honest language and action
20:00 – How to stop waiting for motivation and start doing
24:00 – The Try Test: how your brain reacts to indecision
28:00 – The power of “no” and protecting your willpower
32:00 – The science of action and accountability
36:00 – Rewiring your brain from “try” to “do”
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
motivation, procrastination, confidence, mindset, fear, accountability, personal growth, communication, self-sabotage, language, psychology, Stop Trying
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The AI-powered Podcast Player
