Why Trying is Ruining You | Carla Ondrasik
The Art of Charm
Fear, Failure, and the Comfort of 'Try'
Carla explains how fear, perfectionism, and wanting to avoid being the 'bad guy' lead people to say 'I'll try.'
AJ and Johnny sit down with Carla Ondrasik, author of Stop Trying, to unpack why the word try is secretly holding you back from real change. Carla shares how “trying” tricks your brain into feeling productive while keeping you stuck — and why doing, not trying, is the antidote to procrastination, perfectionism, and fear.
They explore how language shapes behavior, why “I’ll try” destroys trust and momentum, and how replacing it with decisive action transforms confidence, relationships, and follow-through. You’ll learn how to silence your inner critic, embrace failure, and finally move from thinking about it to living it.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why “try” is the most dangerous word you use
04:00 – How “trying” fools your brain into false progress
08:00 – The psychology of fear, failure, and perfectionism
12:00 – How “try” damages trust and relationships
16:00 – Replacing “try” with honest language and action
20:00 – How to stop waiting for motivation and start doing
24:00 – The Try Test: how your brain reacts to indecision
28:00 – The power of “no” and protecting your willpower
32:00 – The science of action and accountability
36:00 – Rewiring your brain from “try” to “do”
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motivation, procrastination, confidence, mindset, fear, accountability, personal growth, communication, self-sabotage, language, psychology, Stop Trying
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