The Best of You 172. Daring Joy: Breaking Free from Fear, Cynicism, and Toxic Positivity with Therapist Nicole Zasowski
Aug 21, 2025
Nicole Zasowski, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author, joins the conversation to redefine joy as a courageous practice. She shares her personal journey of embracing joy amidst loss, highlighting how it often feels more challenging than grief. The discussion emphasizes the dangers of toxic positivity, the control offered by cynicism, and practical ways to savor life's joys, even in tough times. Zasowski advocates for gratitude and mindfulness, urging listeners to actively cultivate joy alongside their struggles.
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From Performance To Vulnerable Joy
- Nicole recounts a performance-based identity and years of infertility including five miscarriages that reshaped her relationship with joy.
- She realized she was holding joy at arm's length and began researching neuroscience and Scripture to practice joy deliberately.
Joy As A Discipline, Not A Silver Lining
- Nicole distinguishes toxic positivity from true joy and rejects silver-lininging painful experiences.
- She reframes joy as a spiritual discipline available to everyone, not just a response to good circumstances.
Why Joy Feels Riskier Than Grief
- Joy can feel more vulnerable than grief because embracing it opens us to potential loss and 'foreboding joy.'
- Preparing emotionally for bad outcomes doesn't reduce their sting, it only robs us of present delight.
