Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

How To Let Go, Move On And Leave Your Past In Your Past with Julia Samuel (re-release) #539

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Mar 23, 2025

In this engaging discussion, Julia Samuel, a renowned psychotherapist with three decades of experience, delves into the intricate relationships between families and personal identity. She emphasizes how our upbringing shapes us, highlighting the concept of trans-generational trauma. Julia provides valuable insights on processing familial grief, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering open communication. By exploring stories of resilience and the significance of shared family narratives, listeners learn practical ways to navigate their own complex family dynamics.

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INSIGHT

Family Influence

Family deeply influences us; it's wired in our genes, responses, and beliefs.
Knowing your family history is crucial for self-understanding.

INSIGHT

Transgenerational Trauma

Unprocessed trauma gets passed down through generations until someone confronts the pain.
Unexpressed family secrets and hidden truths can cause present-day struggles.

ADVICE

Navigating Generational Conflicts

Acknowledge your parents' strengths and express gratitude for their love.
Collaborate with them on parenting differences, valuing their wisdom.

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Why does family matter so much to us? As today’s guest, renowned psychotherapist Julia Samuel explains, every client she’s seen in 30 years of practice, mentions their family members. Like it or not, we all carry our upbringing into our adult lives. Our family is wired in us genetically and it shows in our responses to life, our beliefs, and the ‘fault lines’ that trigger us in daily life. Could finding out more about our families be the key to knowing more about ourselves?

Julia’s new book, Every Family Has A Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss is a powerful exploration of what we inherit, what we can change, and how inter-family relationships inform all

aspects of our lives. Often unknowingly, we are a product of how our older relatives have coped with their experiences. It even shows up in our genes! Julia and I explore this subject of trans-generational trauma – or how our present-day struggles probably didn’t start with us (but learning and forgiveness can).

In order to protect our children and grandchildren, Julia says, we need to process our feelings so we don’t pass them on. This might mean uncovering the secrets and untold stories from generations above you. And if that sounds daunting to put into practice, she has some wonderful advice for facilitating difficult conversations. We also discuss generational conflicts over parenting techniques, setting boundaries, and how to be compassionate and respectful with family members while also recognising and protecting your own needs.

Whatever your family situation – whether you’re close, estranged or somewhere in between – there’s something we can all take from Julia’s powerful, original approach.

Caution: contains mild swearing.

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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/539

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.