Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

How To Let Go, Move On And Leave Your Past In Your Past with Julia Samuel (re-release) #539

Mar 23, 2025

In this engaging discussion, Julia Samuel, a renowned psychotherapist with three decades of experience, delves into the intricate relationships between families and personal identity. She emphasizes how our upbringing shapes us, highlighting the concept of trans-generational trauma. Julia provides valuable insights on processing familial grief, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering open communication. By exploring stories of resilience and the significance of shared family narratives, listeners learn practical ways to navigate their own complex family dynamics.

01:36:45

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Episode guests

Julia Samuel

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Understanding family dynamics is essential as they profoundly shape our beliefs and emotional responses throughout our lives.

Addressing transgenerational trauma is vital for breaking cycles of inherited emotional struggles and ensuring future generations do not carry unresolved pain.

Effective communication and boundary-setting within families foster healthier relationships and enable compassionate and respectful interactions among family members.

Deep dives

Understanding Family Influence

Recognizing the profound impact of family on individual identity is crucial. Family dynamics shape our reactions, beliefs, and emotional responses, often without us realizing it. The importance of exploring one's family history can uncover underlying patterns that inform how we relate to the world. This exploration can lead to greater self-awareness and understanding about both ourselves and our familial relationships.

Intro

4min

Family Dynamics and Personal Growth

11min

Navigating Family Grief and Communication

13min

Navigating Personal Boundaries

7min

The Heart of Connection: Emotional Clarity and Family Dynamics

15min

Legacy of Resilience and Trauma

20min

Exploring Empathy and Understanding Through Personal Narratives

2min

Understanding Beliefs, Identity, and Community in Personal Growth

6min

Navigating Modern Relationships

18min

10.

Reflecting on Growth and Health Insights

3min

Why does family matter so much to us? As today’s guest, renowned psychotherapist Julia Samuel explains, every client she’s seen in 30 years of practice, mentions their family members. Like it or not, we all carry our upbringing into our adult lives. Our family is wired in us genetically and it shows in our responses to life, our beliefs, and the ‘fault lines’ that trigger us in daily life. Could finding out more about our families be the key to knowing more about ourselves?

Julia’s new book, Every Family Has A Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss is a powerful exploration of what we inherit, what we can change, and how inter-family relationships inform all

aspects of our lives. Often unknowingly, we are a product of how our older relatives have coped with their experiences. It even shows up in our genes! Julia and I explore this subject of trans-generational trauma – or how our present-day struggles probably didn’t start with us (but learning and forgiveness can).

In order to protect our children and grandchildren, Julia says, we need to process our feelings so we don’t pass them on. This might mean uncovering the secrets and untold stories from generations above you. And if that sounds daunting to put into practice, she has some wonderful advice for facilitating difficult conversations. We also discuss generational conflicts over parenting techniques, setting boundaries, and how to be compassionate and respectful with family members while also recognising and protecting your own needs.

Whatever your family situation – whether you’re close, estranged or somewhere in between – there’s something we can all take from Julia’s powerful, original approach.

Caution: contains mild swearing.

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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/539

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

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