Meghan Riordan Jarvis is a clinical psychotherapist and author with nearly two decades of experience in trauma and grief. In a heartfelt conversation, she shares her personal journey of loss and how it transformed her understanding of grief. She discusses techniques for navigating ruminative thoughts, the mind-body link through the vagus nerve, and the importance of support systems. Meghan also provides essential strategies for managing grief, emphasizes grief education for a supportive culture, and highlights reflective practices to foster healing.
Meghan Riordan Jarvis shares her personal grief journey, highlighting how profound loss reshapes one's understanding and empathy towards others' suffering.
The podcast emphasizes the necessity of comprehensive grief education in society to address myths and foster connection among those grieving.
Jarvis provides practical strategies, such as physical movement and storytelling, to help manage grief while encouraging consistent support for those affected.
Deep dives
Introduction to Sounds True One and Foundation
The episode introduces Sounds True's new membership community, Sounds True One, which offers a variety of educational resources designed to enhance personal development and connections. This platform features original docuseries, community events, classes for morning and evening routines, and interactive weekly live shows that include discussions with guest experts. In addition, the Sounds True Foundation aims to provide equitable access to transformational tools and teachings, supporting those in need. This initiative emphasizes the organization's commitment to facilitating personal growth and community engagement.
Megan Reardon Jarvis's Journey with Grief
Megan Reardon Jarvis, a clinical psychotherapist and author, shares her personal experience with grief, particularly following the deaths of her parents within two years. Despite her expertise in trauma and loss, she was unprepared for the profound impact her mother's death would have on her, leading to feelings of guilt and PTSD. This experience reshaped her understanding of grief, as she realized that theoretical knowledge doesn't shield one from emotional suffering. Her journey illustrates how the loss transformed her perspective and deepened her empathy for clients experiencing similar challenges.
Understanding Trauma and Ruminating Thoughts
Megan discusses the connection between grief and trauma, noting that while trauma is a result of negative experiences, the real challenge lies in how individuals interpret these events. She explains her initial ruminating thought—feeling responsible for her mother's death—which served as a distraction from the deeper pain of losing her mother. Megan learned that ruminating thoughts are detrimental and can cause both mental and physical health issues if not addressed. Her insights highlight the importance of recognizing and managing these thoughts to prevent further emotional turmoil.
Education on Grief and Loss
In writing her book, Can Anyone Tell Me? Megan emphasizes the lack of comprehensive grief education in society and aims to provide essential knowledge about the grieving process. She advocates for a better understanding of how grief affects the body and mind, pointing out myths surrounding grief that can exacerbate feelings of isolation. The book draws from her extensive research, including reading nearly 200 works on grief, synthesizing practical advice and encouraging readers to explore their emotions. Importantly, she underscores that grief is a normal aspect of life, and education around it can foster connection and support.
Practical Steps for Grieving and Supporting Others
Megan offers practical advice for those currently grieving, advocating for daily physical movement, particularly walking, to help manage energy and stay connected to others. She stresses the importance of telling one's story about their grief without becoming overly negative, allowing for expression and processing. For those supporting grief-stricken individuals, she encourages regular check-ins, emphasizing the need for consistent support and understanding of the griever’s evolving needs. This sustained effort aims to combat the isolation often felt in grief, reinforcing that continued support can be essential for healing.
Meghan Riordan Jarvis had been a practicing trauma therapist for almost 20 years. Then, in the course of two years, she lost both of her parents. “I came to understand what my clients had been telling me about for decades really, really differently,” she reflects. In this podcast, join Tami Simon in conversation with Meghan about Can Anyone Tell Me?, her new book that explores the most common and perplexing questions on how to navigate grief.
Whether you yourself are facing loss or you’re looking for ways to support someone who is, give a listen to this compassionate conversation on: how to use stopping techniques to break the cycle of ruminating thoughts; the vagus nerve and the mind-body connection; nervous system co-regulation and creating a “triangle of support”; how grief affects the brain; the feeling of isolation that often accompanies grief; rewriting the narratives we tell ourselves; three simple universal strategies for moving through grief; becoming an effective supporter for someone in need; educating a grief-illiterate culture; working with the parasympathetic nervous system to expand your “window of tolerance”; the Box Breathing practice; why it’s important to validate our fears, even if we think they’re irrational; staying curious about what you can learn about yourself through the grief process; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
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