The Art of Charm

chevron_right

How to Connect Deeper in Minutes | Charles Duhigg

whatshot 58 snips

Sep 15, 2025

Guest

Charles Duhigg

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg, author of "Supercommunicators" and "The Power of Habit," shares insights into effective communication. He explains that the best communicators aren't just extroverts but are skilled in making others feel valued and heard. Duhigg discusses techniques like 'looping for understanding' and the art of initiating tough conversations. He emphasizes the importance of laughter in relationships and highlights how deep listening can transform connections, whether at work or in personal life.

54:00

forum

Ask episode

web_stories

AI Snips

view_agenda

Chapters

menu_book

Books

auto_awesome

Transcript

info_circle

Episode notes

insights

INSIGHT

Skill Over Charisma

Super communicators make others feel smart and heard through learned skills rather than charisma.
Consistent use of specific communication techniques creates high-centrality influence in groups.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Dartmouth Study On High Centrality

A Dartmouth study found teams gel when at least one high-centrality person helps others speak up.
Those participants improved group accuracy by drawing people out and proving they listened.

insights

INSIGHT

Laughter Is A Social Signal

Laughter is primarily a social signal used to show connection, not only a response to jokes.
Shared laughter signals reciprocity and makes others feel they want to connect with us.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

The Art of High Centrality Communication

02:00 • 8min

chevron_right

The Power of Connection through Laughter

09:42 • 8min

chevron_right

Navigating Meaningful Conversations

17:47 • 10min

chevron_right

Building Connections in Business and Communication

27:42 • 12min

chevron_right

The Art of Deep Listening

39:44 • 13min

chevron_right

Deepening Connections Through Communication

52:42 • 5min

chevron_right

#71

• Mentioned in 148 episodes

The Power of Habit

Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Charles Duhigg

In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the science of habit formation and change. He explains the 'habit loop' consisting of a cue, a routine, and a reward, and how understanding this loop can help in changing bad habits or forming good ones. The book includes numerous examples from various fields, such as how Procter & Gamble successfully marketed Febreze, how Alcoa transformed its business by focusing on safety, and how individuals like Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and civil-rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. benefited from specific habits. Duhigg argues that by harnessing this science, individuals and organizations can transform their lives and businesses.

#135

• Mentioned in 103 episodes

Supercommunicators

How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

Charles Duhigg

In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the secrets of 'supercommunicators' who excel at connecting with others. He delves into the three distinct types of conversations—practical, emotional, and social—and provides practical strategies and case studies to illustrate how to recognize and navigate these conversations effectively. The book includes examples from various contexts, such as jury deliberations, CIA recruitments, and workplace interactions, to demonstrate how communication can be improved. Duhigg emphasizes the importance of active listening, identifying complex emotions, and matching the type of conversation to enhance connection and understanding.

Why do some people make every conversation better? Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators, The Power of Habit) returns to reveal the science behind connection that anyone can learn. In this conversation with AJ and Johnny, Charles explains why “super communicators” aren’t extroverts or natural charmers—they’re people who consistently use a handful of skills that make others feel smart, heard, and valued.

From NASA astronaut interviews to speed dating experiments, Charles shares practical techniques like “looping for understanding,” perspective-getting, and callbacks that transform awkward or tense moments into genuine connection. Whether you’re navigating conflict with your boss, strengthening friendships, or reconnecting with someone after years apart, these tools will help you communicate with intention, build trust, and leave every conversation stronger than when it started.

What to Listen For
[00:00:00] What makes a “super communicator” and why it’s not charisma
[00:01:22] The Dartmouth study on “high centrality” people who make teams gel
[00:03:08] Why the best leaders ask instead of tell
[00:04:19] Communication as a skill—not a personality trait
[00:07:38] Laughter as a social signal, not just humor
[00:09:34] Why friendships at work predict happiness and retention
[00:15:14] How to start tough conversations with clarity and intention
[00:23:05] Proving you listened: the power of looping for understanding
[00:26:01] Why understanding each other matters more than agreeing
[00:33:27] Three steps for navigating difficult conversations (deep question, declare intention, acknowledge discomfort)
[00:42:24] How callbacks drive connection—from speed dating to parenting
[00:45:55] Charles’ daily practice for staying connected and curious

A Word From Our Sponsors

Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠

The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the ⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠ TODAY to get started

Curious about your influence level?

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Episode resources:

Charles Duhigg

Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Home Top podcasts Popular guests Top books