3 Parts of the Essential Self, feat. Dr. Alison Cook (Type 3)
Oct 24, 2024
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In this engaging discussion, Dr. Alison Cook, a therapist and host of The Best of You, shares insights into Internal Family Systems therapy. She unpacks the three parts of the personality and introduces the 8 Cs of the Self, highlighting the importance of mixed emotions. Dr. Cook also reveals her three-step process for fostering self-acceptance, emphasizing the need to honor our inner tensions. With practical advice and a focus on emotional healing, she provides a roadmap for connecting with our essential self.
Understanding Internal Family Systems therapy allows individuals to recognize and honor their various emotional parts for effective healing.
Integrating psychological insights with spiritual beliefs fosters a deeper connection to the essential self, promoting emotional growth and resilience.
Deep dives
Exploring the 12 Steps for Personal Transformation
The discussion emphasizes the transformative power of the 12 Steps, extending their relevance beyond addiction recovery to anyone seeking personal development. The speaker highlights that these steps can be beneficial for all individuals, not just those dealing with substance abuse, by offering a structured approach to change. This perspective aligns with the concept that the 12 Steps serve as a spiritual design for living that can provide profound benefits to everyone, fostering emotional growth and resilience. Ultimately, the excitement surrounding the author's upcoming book reflects a commitment to sharing this valuable insight with a broader audience.
The Role of Internal Family Systems in Therapy
The conversation delves into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, which focuses on understanding the self as composed of various sub-personalities or 'parts.' It presents a model where protective parts, known as managers and firefighters, help to navigate emotional challenges while supporting individuals through trauma. The significance of recognizing that no part is inherently 'bad,' but may be stuck in unhelpful roles, is underscored, allowing for a more compassionate approach to self-understanding. This framework enables individuals to engage with their emotions and history in a way that supports healing and integration.
Understanding Conflicting Emotions
The speakers touch on the complexity of conflicting emotions, emphasizing the need to honor and acknowledge multiple feelings simultaneously. For example, an individual might love their partner while feeling frustrated by their actions, requiring navigation through these mixed emotions without guilt or shame. The process of naming what is hard, framing the reality of the situation, and taking brave steps can foster a deeper understanding of one's emotional landscape. This acknowledgment aids individuals in addressing the underlying messages that may devalue their feelings and promotes healthier relationship dynamics.
The Interconnection of Psychology and Spirituality
The podcast underscores the importance of integrating psychological concepts with spiritual beliefs, particularly regarding the essential self. The conversation highlights that beneath the layers of trauma and challenges, everyone possesses an innate goodness, often referred to as the Imago Dei or the true self. This idea resonates with many psychological frameworks, suggesting that true understanding cannot occur without recognizing the spiritual dimensions of personal experience. Ultimately, fostering a relationship with the essential self can promote harmony and integration, allowing individuals to lead fulfilling lives.
What is the essential self and how do we get in touch with it enough that it becomes a trusted leader for all of our parts? Today we welcome Dr. Alison Cook, therapist and host of the top-ranked podcast, The Best of You, to talk about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and how it can help all of us do some important healing work toward integration. We also discuss her new book, I Shouldn't Feel This Way: Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action.
In this episode, we explore:
What the 3 distinct parts of the personality are and the role each plays
The 8 Cs of the Self
The importance of learning to honor the inner tension of mixed emotions
Dr. Cook also shares her 3-step process to reconcile mixed emotions and foster self-acceptance. Tune in for practical insights that can help you integrate your parts and find harmony with your essential self.
About Dr. Alison Cook
Dr. Alison Cook is a therapist and host of the top-ranked The Best of You podcast. Originally from Wyoming, Dr. Alison studied at Dartmouth College (BA), Denver Seminary (MA), and the University of Denver (PhD), where she specialized in integrating psychology and theology. Dr. Alison’s doctoral dissertation centered on the relationship between religion and prejudice. She is certified in Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) and is the author of the ECPA bestselling book The Best of You and coauthor of Boundaries for Your Soul, with nearly 100,000 copies sold– based on the popular IFS therapy model. Widely recognized as an expert at the intersection of faith and psychology, Dr. Alison empowers individuals to heal from past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and forge healthy relationships. Her newest book, I Shouldn't Feel This Way: Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action released earlier this year.
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