Balancing Presence At Home and Life On The Road | Benj Gershman
Jan 11, 2025
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Benj Gershman, the bassist for the rock band O.A.R. and a mental health podcast host, shares his journey of balancing a successful music career with family life. He dives into the emotional toll of being away during key moments, the struggle of feeling disconnected from home, and the temptations of accepting more gigs. Benj reflects on the joys and challenges of returning to family after tours, emphasizing the importance of mental health awareness in navigating these complexities.
Benj Gershman illustrates the emotional struggle for touring musicians to balance their passion for performing and responsibilities towards their family, highlighting the sacrifices made in personal relationships.
The COVID-19 pandemic provided a rare opportunity for family bonding, emphasizing the importance of presence at home and personal growth amidst the challenges faced during an extended hiatus.
Deep dives
Balancing Career and Family Life
Touring as a musician presents a unique challenge for parents, as success in the music industry often requires being away from home for extended periods. The excitement of performing and traveling can conflict with the desire to spend quality time with family, leading to a constant push and pull between professional obligations and personal responsibilities. For example, Benj Gershman, a bassist from the band OAR, highlighted how the band's success has resulted in sacrifices in family time, making it difficult to fully engage in their children's lives. This struggle emphasizes the need for parents in demanding careers to find equilibrium between their passions and their roles as caregivers.
The Impact of a Long Break
The COVID-19 pandemic provided an unintended opportunity for musicians to spend extended periods at home, which revolutionized their family dynamics. Gershman noted that this time allowed for personal growth and reflection, although it wasn't without challenges, as he faced health issues that arose during that period. The hiatus served as a reminder of the importance of presence in familial relationships, offering a stark contrast to the often fragmented lifestyle of touring. This unique experience reinforced the notion that embracing moments at home can profoundly affect family connections and highlight the beauty of everyday life.
Embracing the Highs and Lows of Touring
Despite the difficulties of balancing life on the road with family commitments, there is an undeniable thrill that comes with being a touring musician. Gershman expressed both the joy and alienation felt when away from family, capturing the dual nature of a performer's existence. As he prepares for his first extended time at home in months, he expresses excitement for the simple joys of family life, while also acknowledging the mental state associated with constantly transitioning between home and tour life. This perspective illustrates the complex emotional landscape musicians navigate, as each performance is a reminder of their passion and the sacrifices that accompany it.
As the bassist for the rock band O.A.R., Benj Gershman understands that life on the road comes with the territory. Still, being away from his family for weeks at a time is a constant challenge. In today's episode, Benj and Ryan dive into the struggles of balancing touring with family life, the emotional push and pull of being on the road, and the temptation to keep agreeing to more gigs.