471: How to Say No Without Saying No, with Lois Frankel

May 25, 2020

Lois Frankel, President of Corporate Coaching International and bestselling author, dives into the art of saying no with professionalism. She sheds light on why women often struggle to assert themselves and shares empowering communication tactics to reclaim their voices. Listeners learn how to navigate boundaries gracefully while maintaining professional relationships. Frankel also discusses the importance of setting personal limits and recognizing when saying yes can undermine growth, offering key phrases for effective communication.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ADVICE

Saying No Without Saying No

Frame your "no" as a "yes, and…" to manage expectations and offer alternatives.
Suggest realistic deliverables within given constraints, focusing on what you can do.

ADVICE

Avoid Over-Explaining

Avoid over-explaining when declining requests, as it invites counterarguments.
Focus on what you can do, offering alternatives and solutions instead.

ADVICE

Declining Unreasonable Requests

When declining unreasonable requests, express appreciation and offer alternative solutions.
Suggest other resources or people who might be better suited to help.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Nice girls don't get the corner office

Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

Lois P. Frankel

In this New York Times bestseller, Dr. Lois P. Frankel reveals over 130 behaviors that women learn in girlhood which can sabotage their careers as adults. The book provides practical advice on how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes, such as avoiding office politics, multi-tasking excessively, failing to negotiate, and inappropriate use of social media. Frankel offers coaching tips to help women develop the social and business skills necessary to advance in their careers and achieve leadership roles.

Nice Girls Don't Get Rich

75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money

Lois P. Frankel

In 'Nice Girls Don't Get Rich', Lois P. Frankel tackles the pervasive myths and behaviors that prevent women from achieving financial success. The book explores how societal norms and deeply ingrained behaviors sabotage women's financial potential. Frankel provides practical advice and actionable steps to help women recognize and dismantle these barriers. The book covers various aspects of financial management, including negotiating salaries, managing investments, and strategizing for long-term financial goals. It emphasizes the importance of financial literacy, balanced spending, and aligning financial goals with life goals to achieve holistic success and overall life satisfaction.

Nice Girls Just Don't Get It

99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You've Earned, and the Life You Want

Carol Frohlinger

Lois P. Frankel

This book, co-authored by Lois P. Frankel and Carol M. Frohlinger, extends the advice from Frankel's previous bestseller 'Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office' beyond the workplace. It offers practical strategies and tactics for women to become happier and more successful in every area of their lives. The authors provide specific tips on how to set appropriate boundaries, confront difficult people, and negotiate effectively in personal and professional settings. The book aims to help women overcome the societal pressures that keep them from articulating their needs and achieving their goals.

Nice Girls Don't Speak Up or Stand Out

How to Make Your Voice Heard, Your Point Known, and Your Presence Felt

Lois P. Frankel

In 'Nice Girls Don't Speak Up or Stand Out', Dr. Lois Frankel provides step-by-step advice on communication strategies, helping women to express themselves confidently and take charge of their careers. The book addresses nearly one hundred everyday challenges women face in communication, offering practical tips and real-life examples to navigate various scenarios.

Lois Frankel: Nice Girls Don’t Speak Up or Stand Out Lois Frankel is the President of Corporate Coaching International, and is a bestselling author, executive coach, and an internationally-recognized expert in the field of leadership development for women. She has appeared on Larry King Live, The Tavis Smiley Show, The Today Show, and many other places to discuss her New York Times bestselling books, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office*, Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich*, and Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*. She has served diverse clients such as The Walt Disney Company, Amgen, The World Bank, McKinsey & Company, Inc., Northrop Grumman, and many others. Her newest audiobook just released is titled Nice Girls Don’t Speak Up or Stand Out: How to Make Your Voice Heard, Your Point Known, and Your Presence Felt*. In this conversation, Lois and I discuss why saying no is so important, key tactics in doing it with professionalism and grace, and some useful language we can leverage. We also explore why we end up saying yes to work that others don’t really care that much about and how we can be our own worst enemy on saying yes. Key Points In response to an invitation: As much as I would love to attend, my calendar is already over-scheduled for that week. In response to a statement that may have some truth to it but that won’t change your position: Be that as it may, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not able to provide you with a loan at this time. In response to someone asking you to do something that actually benefits them more than you: Thank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, I am not able to take advantage of your kind offer. In response to someone you care about and to whom who you genuinely wish you could say yes: If I could I would. I really value our relationships and wish the situation was different. In response to someone asking for yet another favor: Although I’ve been able to help you out in the past, this time I just don’t have the bandwidth. In response to a somewhat unreasonable request: I’m sure you understand that I receive many similar requests and that I’m just not able to be of help at this time. In response to someone who uses flattery to get you to accept their request: I’m flattered and at the same time I’m not able to accept your gracious offer. When you are genuinely sorry that you must decline: I’m so sorry that this isn’t going to work out. I hope it might in the future. Resources Mentioned Nice Girls Don't Speak Up or Stand Out: How to Make Your Voice Heard, Your Point Known, and Your Presence Felt* by Lois Frankel Related Episodes Unconscious Mistakes Women Make, with Lois Frankel (episode 386) Why Men Are Heard and Women Are Liked, with Lois Frankel and Tom Henschel (episode 392) How to Negotiate When Others Have Power, with Kwame Christian (episode 416) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.