MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel Sorry, I Missed This: Kink, BDSM, and ADHD
May 8, 2025
Stefani Goerlich, an author and forensic sexologist specializing in supporting kinky individuals, discusses the intersection of BDSM and ADHD. She highlights how BDSM practices can provide structure, sensory input, and improved communication, making them particularly beneficial for neurodivergent individuals. The conversation covers common misconceptions about kink, the importance of consent, and how negotiating power dynamics can foster connection. Stefani delves into how rituals in kink can help with focus and emotional regulation, making it a valuable tool in relationships.
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Understanding BDSM Components
- BDSM is an umbrella term covering bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.
- It involves exchange of control, authority, and sensation, and is infinitely customizable based on preferences.
Kink Is Relational, Not Just Sexual
- Kink is fundamentally relational and only sometimes sexual.
- Recognizing it as a relationship style, not just sexual activity, normalizes discussion and reduces stigma.
Origins of Kink Interest
- Many kinky people identify their interest as innate, often recalling childhood moments linked to playful scenarios.
- A small percentage associate kink to trauma, but most describe it as normal adolescent development or pleasant adult discovery.