Why You're so Avoidant ft. Dr. Kirk Honda @PsychologyInSeattle
Nov 11, 2024
02:16:06
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Dr. Kirk Honda, a renowned expert in personality disorders and creator of the 'Psychology in Seattle' platform, delves into the intricacies of avoidant personality disorder. He explores the roots of avoidance in childhood trauma and the emotional battles that accompany it. The conversation highlights the distinctions between social anxiety and feelings of defectiveness, emphasizing the healing power of trust. Kirk also discusses the role of neuroplasticity and risk-taking in fostering change, along with the importance of supportive relationships for those struggling with these issues.
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Quick takeaways
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by a deep fear of humiliation, often rooted in early relational trauma and neglect.
The importance of establishing trust in therapy is vital for individuals with avoidant traits to face their fears progressively.
Social isolation and technology's rise have complicated mental health dynamics, impacting face-to-face interactions essential for emotional growth.
Childhood experiences significantly shape relational patterns, leading to feelings of worthlessness and intense aversion to seeking relationships.
Deep dives
Skinny Pop Sponsorship
The episode begins by highlighting the sponsorship of Skinny Pop Popcorn, emphasizing its light, crunchy texture and simplicity, made with just three ingredients: popcorn kernels, sunflower oil, and salt. This segment promotes the idea that snacking can be both enjoyable and guilt-free, encouraging listeners to indulge in this treat. The advertisement sets a positive tone as the speaker invites audiences to enjoy an endless variety of delicious popcorn. It frames the product as a perfect accompaniment for moments of leisure and enjoyment.
Jingle Jam Fundraising
The discussion transitions to an announcement about Jingle Jam, a fundraising event aimed at supporting eight charities, including War Child and Whale and Dolphin Conservation. Participants are encouraged to contribute by creating content, streaming, or sharing links on social media to raise funds. By registering their campaigns, fundraisers can unlock a collection of games for donors who contribute £35 or more. The initiative emphasizes the power of community and collective effort in making a positive impact for those in need.
Introduction to Mental Health Topics
Dr. Aulo Kanoja, also known as Dr. K, introduces the Healthy Gamer GG podcast, which focuses on mental health in the digital age. The podcast aims to break down complex concepts to help listeners better understand themselves and their surroundings. Dr. K establishes the importance of consulting licensed professionals regarding medical concerns while emphasizing the podcast's educational value. The friendly conversation with Dr. Honda, a fellow mental health professional, sets the stage for a deeper exploration of psychological topics.
Understanding Personality Disorders
The episode delves into avoidant personality disorder, exploring the complexities surrounding its definition and impact on individuals. Dr. Honda defines personality disorders as a distortion in perception, making it difficult for individuals to navigate social situations. Avoidant personality disorder, characterized by intense fear of humiliation or rejection, is explained through the lens of early relational trauma and neglect. This discussion highlights how childhood experiences shape one's emotional landscape and challenge the ability to connect with others.
Childhood Trauma and Relationships
The hosts emphasize how early experiences of neglect and abuse contribute to the development of avoidant personality disorder. A lack of attunement and social support during formative years leads to feelings of isolation and the mistaken belief that one is inherently flawed. Dr. Honda and Dr. K share insights about how individuals with this disorder often feel unworthy of connection and believe they will be rejected if they seek relationships. By connecting relational trauma to avoidant traits, they provide a clearer understanding of the coping mechanisms that emerge in adulthood.
Navigating Therapy with Avoidant Personality Disorder
The conversation shifts to therapy techniques for individuals suffering from avoidant personality disorder, particularly focusing on the need for corrective experiences in therapeutic settings. The hosts emphasize the importance of establishing trust and creating an environment where clients can gradually face their fears in social situations. They discuss the necessity for therapists to balance understanding and support while allowing clients space to breathe and feel safe. This nuanced approach encourages empowerment and realization for individuals who struggle with deep-seated beliefs about rejection and inadequacy.
Exploring Schizoid Personality Disorder
The episode also touches on schizoid personality disorder, highlighting the differences from avoidant personality disorder. Dr. Honda explains that individuals with schizoid personality are often left alone and neglected, resulting in a belief that emotions are unwelcome and should be suppressed. Unlike avoidant personality disorder, schizoid traits revolve around a perceived lack of need for relationships, stemming from early childhood experiences of isolation. The discussion acknowledges the intricate nature of these disorders, revealing how each individual's background shapes their emotional and relational patterns.
The Impact of Technology on Mental Health
The speakers discuss the increased prevalence of social isolation and personality disorders in the context of technology, especially during the pandemic. They point out that, while online platforms can provide a sense of connection, they often replace essential face-to-face interactions necessary for emotional growth and socialization. The ease of digital interaction may inadvertently exacerbate avoidant behaviors and fatigue around social situations. This observation prompts a broader conversation about how individuals navigate mental health challenges in a rapidly evolving technological landscape.
Do you find yourself avoiding conflict in your relationships? Do you perhaps find yourself avoiding relationships altogether? In today's video, Dr. K talks with Dr. Kirk Honda, as they discuss what avoidance is, and how to deal with it in every day life!
