Chris Voss, an FBI negotiator, discusses how techniques used in kidnapping negotiations can improve everyday communication. The hosts explore negotiation in everyday life and the importance of creating a safe space in conversations. They also discuss assessing the other person's experience and long-term costs in a negotiation.
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Quick takeaways
Negotiation is a universal skill applicable in all aspects of life, including personal relationships and self-communication, not just business transactions.
Successful negotiations are not about dominance and aggression, but rather about understanding, active listening, and building rapport for mutually beneficial outcomes.
Deep dives
Negotiation is a part of everyday life
Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator, emphasizes the idea that negotiation is not limited to business deals or money transactions. He suggests that negotiation is present in our daily lives, such as when we interact with our partners, children, colleagues, or even with ourselves. Voss highlights that negotiations involve understanding people and building safe and collaborative environments for effective communication. By creating psychological safety and putting others at ease, negotiations can lead to mutually beneficial outcomes.
Oprah Winfrey as a master negotiator
Voss shares his admiration for Oprah Winfrey as an exceptional negotiator, despite her not being generally recognized as such. He points out that Winfrey handles difficult conversations with high-profile celebrities by providing them with a safe space and approaching them with a calm and soft-spoken demeanor. Voss believes that Winfrey's success extends beyond her privileged starting point, highlighting her focus on collaboration, long-term relationships, and a commitment to building prosperity for all parties involved.
Negotiation misconceptions and the power of effective communication
Voss challenges the common misconception that successful negotiations are those where someone has clearly dominated the other party. He argues that our perceptions of negotiation are influenced by examples in movies and television, where aggressive and cutthroat behavior is often glorified. Voss advocates for a different approach, promoting understanding and finding common ground in negotiations. He emphasizes the importance of effective communication, active listening, and building rapport, rather than relying solely on leverage and dominance.
Jake and Damian re-wind the clock to when they spoke to FBI negotiator Chris Voss.
In this discussion Chris explains how techniques used in kidnapping negotiations can be used in our everyday lives. Jake shares how Chris’ teachings from this episode helped him to communicate with his wife, children, colleagues and even himself.
They reflect on some of the key missions in Chris’ career and how you can become an expert communicator.
Listen to the full episode with Chris here: https://pod.fo/e/d5dfb
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