
The Anxious Achiever Get What You Need At Work (Without Making It "About You") with Stew Friedman
Jan 6, 2026
In this engaging discussion, Stew Friedman, a leading organizational psychologist and creator of the Total Leadership model, shares insights on asking for workplace needs as a crucial leadership skill. He emphasizes the importance of integrating work, home, community, and self for improved performance. Stew also introduces the concept of 'four-way wins' and advocates for harmony over balance in life. Through innovative experiments and dialogue, he explores building a culture of mutual support and accountability for both personal and organizational success.
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Life As An Interacting Social System
- Total Leadership links inner life, family, community, and work as an interacting social system you can influence.
- Understanding stakeholders' needs reveals where conflicts and compatibilities lie so you can design mutual-value changes.
Run Short Four-Way Experiments
- Do experiments that aim for four-way wins across work, home, community, and self.
- Reflect on what worked and what you learned even when experiments fail to capture useful lessons.
Hone Dialogue Before Tough Conversations
- Practice disciplined dialogue: ask 'Do I have it right?' and invite reaction to learn what others truly think.
- Use peer coaching to hone listening and reflection before real conversations with stakeholders.





