Ep.64 “People Pleasing Is Manipulative”: A Boundary Setting Bootcamp With Michelle Elman
Nov 27, 2023
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Michelle Elman, a psychology empire owner, discusses the importance of setting boundaries, healing trauma, breaking the cycle of self-criticism, body confidence, dating apps and challenging assumptions, appreciating small gestures in relationships, and not settling for less in relationships.
Setting clear boundaries is crucial in relationships and dating to avoid settling or manipulation.
Our inner voice and self-worth are influenced by external factors, and it's important to challenge negative self-criticism.
Facing adversity can shape our perspective to live life fully, prioritize personal fulfillment, and not be driven by fear or societal expectations.
Deep dives
The Power of Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for personal growth and improved relationships. Michelle Elman, a life coach and psychologist, shares her personal journey of facing health challenges and how it transformed her mindset. She emphasizes the importance of not settling in relationships and dating, and the need to have clear boundaries from the start. She encourages practicing self-love daily and reframing negative self-criticism. Michelle also discusses the impact of societal beauty standards and the importance of accepting oneself. She recommends honest communication and not fearing rejection when setting boundaries in relationships.
The Influence of Early Experiences
Michelle Elman discusses how childhood experiences, especially the influence of caregivers, can shape our inner voice and self-worth. She highlights the importance of recognizing that our inner voice is not our own, but a reflection of external influences. Michelle emphasizes the need to challenge negative self-criticism and develop a positive inner voice by valuing oneself and appreciating personal qualities.
Living with a Mindset of Mortality
Michelle Elman shares her personal experience of facing life-threatening surgeries and the impact it had on her mindset. She discusses how the experience of facing mortality shaped her perspective to live life fully and pursue her dreams. Michelle emphasizes the importance of living without fear and appreciating each day. She encourages individuals to prioritize what they love and focus on personal fulfillment rather than being driven by fear or external expectations.
The Pitfalls of People-Pleasing
Michelle Elman challenges the idea of people-pleasing and explains how it can be manipulative and detrimental to personal well-being. She highlights the danger of ignoring one's own boundaries and suppressing individuality to gain acceptance. Michelle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, expressing oneself, and being authentic in relationships.
Navigating Dating and Self-Worth
Michelle Elman provides insights into dating, self-worth, and the tendency to settle. She urges individuals not to settle due to societal pressures or limited beliefs about their desirability. Michelle advises practicing self-love and self-respect in dating, setting clear boundaries, and valuing oneself. She shares the importance of understanding that being single is not a failure and that it is essential to have standards and criteria in order to build healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Michelle Elman is a woman with a psychology empire. Her qualifications speak for themselves: she’s a five-board accredited life coach, a Master Practitioner, a Master Hypnotherapist and a psychologist, plus she’s published four bestselling books. But these accolades are more than just a job for Michelle. They’re personal. She faced serious health challenges throughout her childhood, having to endure 15 surgeries, followed by periods of intense self-doubt and low body confidence due to her many scars.
Aged just 21, she began her campaign ‘Scarred not Scared’, advocating for body confidence, and sharing her story with the world. Now, she spends her days coaching others on the importance of self-love, boundaries and acceptance. I’m so excited to share her wisdom with you in this episode.
