121. Negotiate Like a Woman with Kathryn Valentine
Oct 17, 2023
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In this episode, Tori Dunlap sits down with Kathryn Valentine, a gendered negotiation expert, to uncover the secrets of successful salary negotiations. They discuss dispelling negotiation myths, leveling the playing field in the workplace, addressing gender dynamics, and negotiating fair compensation.
Consider a holistic approach to negotiation by focusing not only on base salary, but also on additional benefits and workplace happiness.
Ask relationally by demonstrating the legitimacy and benefits of what you're asking for to minimize backlash.
Practice negotiation in everyday life to build confidence and develop the ability to handle rejection as an opportunity for growth.
Deep dives
Negotiation Principles for Women
One important principle for women in negotiation is to think holistically. This means considering not just base salary, but other factors that could improve workplace happiness and impact, such as additional benefits, flexible hours, or training opportunities. Another principle is to ask relationally, which involves demonstrating the legitimacy and benefits of what you're asking for to reduce the risk of backlash. Using the WorthMore relational ask equation (RAY) can help structure the negotiation conversation. Lastly, discussions should be held collaboratively, emphasizing problem-solving and finding solutions that benefit both parties.
Mistakes in Negotiation
Three common mistakes women make in negotiation are waiting until their back is against the wall, negotiating only one issue at a time, and undervaluing themselves. Instead, it's recommended to negotiate proactively, asking for multiple things to have flexibility, and valuing oneself by seeking advice from others or acting as if advising a friend in the same situation. It's important to remember that negotiation is an everyday skill and can be practiced in various low-stakes situations to build confidence and hone the negotiating muscle.
Building Negotiation Muscle
Building negotiation muscle involves starting with smaller negotiations in everyday life, such as negotiating discounts or better terms when shopping, or requesting changes to services received. By doing so, individuals can become more comfortable with negotiation and confront the fear of hearing 'no.' It's valuable to approach 'no' as an opportunity to learn and ask for feedback on what can be done to change the answer in the future. Getting agreements in writing is advisable to ensure promises are kept.
Negotiating Salary and Business Goals
Negotiating salary is often seen as a conflict, especially for women who are expected to be grateful for their jobs. However, reframing negotiations as a collaboration, highlighting the value that can be brought to the business, can lead to more successful outcomes. Negotiating for salary is just one aspect, as there are numerous other non-salary benefits that can be negotiated such as PTO, working from home, 401K matching, and bonuses. Taking a holistic approach to negotiate the entire compensation package can lead to significant improvements in overall financial well-being.
Gender Gaps in Negotiation and Compensation
Gender gaps in negotiation and compensation are pervasive and extend beyond salary. Research shows that women face higher risks of backlash when negotiating for traditional benefits like promotion and money, while men face backlash when negotiating for flexibility. The traditional tools and practices in the business world were not built for women, resulting in unequal resources and opportunities. Employers need to be aware of these gaps and work toward creating transparent and equitable workplaces by addressing issues such as credit for ideas, performance feedback, team size, and gender-specific business skills. Individual actions, such as advocating for transparency and sharing gender-specific negotiation strategies, can contribute to a more equitable workplace.
If you're a woman navigating the complex world of career negotiations — whether you’re gearing up for an annual review or trying to land a new job with higher pay, you're in for a treat. In this episode, host Tori Dunlap sits down with speaker, corporate trainer, and gendered negotiation expert Kathryn Valentine to uncover the secrets of successful salary negotiations. Kathryn's insights dispel the myths and provide actionable strategies for leveling the playing field in the corporate world so you can tackle your next negotiation with confidence.