Topics discussed in this podcast include the impact of external validation and intrinsic motivation, approaches to praising children, the importance of detaching from external validation, and reflections on kids' quiet moments and deep thinking.
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Quick takeaways
Encouraging introspection and internal validation by asking children questions about their achievements instead of offering immediate and excessive praise.
Teaching children the importance of finding fulfillment in personal satisfaction and setting internal standards rather than constantly seeking external recognition.
Deep dives
Importance of reframing praise
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the topic of praising children and share their insights on reframing praise. Rather than offering immediate and excessive praise, they suggest asking children questions about their achievements to encourage introspection and internal validation. By focusing on the child's own thoughts and feelings about their accomplishments, parents can help foster intrinsic motivation rather than relying on external validation. While they acknowledge the natural instinct to shower children with praise, they emphasize the importance of finding a balance and guiding children towards self-reflection and personal growth.
Detaching from external validation
The hosts delve into their personal journeys of detaching from external rewards and outcomes. They share the significance of finding fulfillment in doing things for personal satisfaction and setting internal standards rather than constantly seeking external recognition. They discuss how success should be measured not solely by the opinions of others or the external markers of achievement but by the joy, personal growth, and intrinsic motivation that come from pursuing one's passions. They view teaching children this perspective as a valuable gift, helping them to become intrinsically motivated and not dependent on validation from others.
Guiding children's emotions and development
The hosts explore the importance of guiding children's emotions and development in a balanced manner. They stress the need for parents to provide space for their children to feel and reflect on their own emotions and thoughts, without projecting their own feelings onto them. They suggest engaging in conversations that encourage introspection and allow children to express their own opinions and perspectives. This approach helps children develop a sense of self-worth, motivates them intrinsically, and promotes healthy emotional development. By striking a balance between excessive praise and giving guidance, parents can support their children's growth and self-esteem.
On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks with his wife Samantha on the difference between expressing pride and relief, and practicing motivated intrinsically vs extrinsically with our kids.