179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo

Jan 6, 2021

In this engaging discussion, Dave Richo, a seasoned psychotherapist and author, shares insights on fostering healthy relationships through his 'Five A's': Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. He dives into the impact of childhood experiences on adult dynamics and emphasizes the importance of mindfulness in navigating emotional challenges. Richo also introduces practical tools for reframing blame and processing grief, encouraging listeners to cultivate intentionality and maturity in their partnerships.

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INSIGHT

Five Core Needs Of Relationship Health

The five A's are core needs in relationships: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing.
Adults both seek them and commit to giving them as the basis of mindful loving.

INSIGHT

Childhood Shapes Adult Relationship Capacity

These five needs are inborn and essential for survival, development, and selfhood.
Good-enough early caregiving supplies them and shapes our adult capacity to be satisfied.

ADVICE

Do Mindful Practice Together

Practice a shared spiritual or mindfulness practice with your partner to strengthen your relationship.
Sit mindfully together daily and cultivate loving-kindness toward each other.

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Attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These five words (Richo's "Five A’s") are necessary ingredients to any healthy relationship, but many of us don’t start off with them in our relationship pantry. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, co-host Yael is joined by Dr. Dave Richo, author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Join us as Yael and Dave discuss the power of the Five A’s. You'll learn how fulfilling these needs affects both our personal growth and our behavior in relationships. So grab your partner (and your ingredients!), and join Yael and Dave today to learn more about how to be an adult in your relationship. Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie’s real life hacks to meeting “The Five A’s”What makes Dave's, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, so enduringly helpful for peopleDave’s expert breakdown of the ideal goals for adults in relationshipsProfessional, evidence-based advice for how to (healthily) orient around “The Five A’s” in your relationshipHow your childhood experiences may be impacting your relationship The way mindfulness applies to relationshipsDave's approach to productively reframing and working with blame and feelings of rage towards your partnerAbout avoiding landslides of grief in relationships when years-old mountains of ill will loom nearby (and why it’s important to fully experience that grief instead!)Practical exercises for reframing your orientation in unhealthy relationships How Dave and Yael might apply “The Five A’s” and some of Dave’s tools in therapy with a couple (READ: free thought-exercise for therapists listening in!)What to do when you’re feeling unloved or unlovable Resources: Dave’s book, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful LovingDave's book, Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start HealingAnger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat HanhThe New York Times breakdown of Harry Potter, So You Know Nothing About ‘Harry Potter’? Let’s Catch You Up About Dave Richo: David Richo, PhD, MFT, is a psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader, and writer who works in Santa Barbara and San Francisco California. He combines Jungian, poetic, and mythic perspectives in his work with the intention of integrating the psychological and the spiritual. His books and workshops include attention to Buddhist and Christian spiritual practices. One of his best sellers, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, is going to be coming into its 20th anniversary this fall. Find out more about Dr. Richo on his website, davericho.com. Related Episodes: Episode 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values And Schemas With Dr. Avigail Lev Episode 120. Use DBT Skills To Regulate Emotions And Be More Effective In Relationships With Dr. Matthew McKayEpisode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah TannenEpisode 176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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