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The Seen and the Unseen - hosted by Amit Varma
Ep 337: Luke Burgis Sees the Deer at His Window
Jul 10, 2023
04:17:59
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Quick takeaways
- Rediscover wonder and prioritize relationships in life, finding joy in simple things.
- Models of desire shape identity and aspirations; prioritize reevaluating and letting go of expectations.
- Memory impacts identity, nurturing and supporting those with memory loss is vital.
- Internal actions like meditation and acts of love bring substantial changes within ourselves.
- Genuine connections and meaningful conversations bring belonging and purpose.
- Writing allows exploration of thoughts and self-expression, a constant in personal development.
Deep dives
Rediscovering Wonder and Prioritizing Relationships
The podcast episode explores the importance of rediscovering wonder and prioritizing relationships in our lives. The speaker highlights the significance of finding joy in the simple things and appreciating the beauty around us. They share personal anecdotes, such as revisiting childhood memories and realizing the value of relationships as we grow older. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being intentional and present in our interactions, especially with loved ones. They also reflect on the challenges of maintaining relationships in a fast-paced world, but ultimately underscore the worth of nurturing those connections that bring meaning and fulfillment to our lives.
The Influence of Models of Desire and the Fluidity of Identity
The episode discusses the role of models of desire in shaping our identity and desires. The speaker reflects on their own journey of seeking models outside their immediate environment, such as artists and professionals in New York City. They acknowledge the influence of media and external factors in forming desires and aspirations. Furthermore, the speaker shares that as they grew older, they realized the importance of reevaluating and prioritizing relationships, both in terms of familial ties and friendships. They highlight the fluidity of relationships and the need to adapt and let go of expectations as life circumstances change.
The Significance of Memory and Continuity of Self
The episode explores the role of memory in shaping our sense of self and how it can be affected by factors such as aging or illness. The speaker draws from personal experiences, discussing how their father's dementia impacted their relationship. They reflect on the influence of memory on identity and highlight the importance of nurturing and supporting individuals who may struggle with memory loss. The speaker further discusses the nature of memory, its connection to our past, and how relationships play a role in reconstructing memories and maintaining a sense of personal identity.
The Power of Interior Actions
Despite jumping through external hoops and conforming to expectations, the speaker felt an unease and dissatisfaction in his life. He realized that the most important actions and changes happened within his interior life. Through meditation and prayer, he engaged in interior actions like resolving to behave differently and making acts of love and kindness. These actions had a profound impact and led to substantial changes within himself. He recognized the patterns in his life that brought him fulfillment, such as engaging in conversations, building relationships, and expressing his creativity through writing. These insights helped him understand the importance of his interior life and the power of intentional actions within it.
Discovering Fulfillment in Authentic Connections
The speaker found fulfillment in genuine connections with others. He shared the joy he experienced while conversing with street food vendors in Bangkok and organizing team lunches with his employees. These interactions went beyond work and allowed him to engage on a personal level. The speaker recognized the importance of communication and storytelling, which brought meaning to his life. He discovered that he wanted to make sense of the world and share his insights with others, rather than focus solely on external achievements or conforming to expectations. These genuine connections and meaningful conversations gave him a sense of belonging and purpose.
Recognizing the Core and Power of Writing
Writing has been an integral part of the speaker's life since childhood. He would create stories by drawing figures and narrating them to his mother. In high school, he wrote song lyrics as a means of self-expression. Although he initially pursued a career in finance and entrepreneurship, the speaker constantly returned to writing. He wrote short stories and screenplays and felt an innate desire to create. Writing allowed him to explore his thoughts, emotions, and struggles. The speaker also recognized the power of nonfiction writing and the ease of expressing his insights through this medium. Writing remained a constant in his life, driving him to continually explore and question his experiences.
The Journey to Becoming a Catholic Priest
The narrator shares their personal journey of feeling called to the priesthood and their desire to pursue holiness through self-sacrificial love and service. They explain their initial motivations and expectations of the priesthood, including the pursuit of radical self-gift and dedication to spiritual growth. However, they undergo a transformative process during their seminary training and realize that their path lies elsewhere, leading to a change in direction.
Learning Italian and Its Influence
The narrator reflects on their experience of learning Italian as an adult and its impact on their thinking and communication. They describe the challenges and beauty of learning a new language, as well as the nuances and cultural differences that come with it. They highlight the importance of direct and honest communication, as well as the meandering and poetic nature of the Italian language and conversation.
The Journey of Lifelong Learning and Openness
The narrator discusses their journey of lifelong learning and openness to new experiences and opportunities. They emphasize the importance of remaining open to change and the unpredictability of life's journey. They reflect on the idea that expectations and specific plans are not always necessary, as long as one is open to growth, discovery, and being present in the moment. They find joy in not knowing exactly what the future holds, embracing the freedom to explore different paths and possibilities.
Reflection on the Rite of Passage
The narrator reflects on their experience of the rite of passage of pursuing the priesthood and the transformation it brought them. They recognize that while it may not have resulted in the expected outcome, it was a necessary and valuable process of self-discovery and growth. They acknowledge that they learned important lessons and developed a deeper understanding of themselves, spirituality, and the journey of life. They view the experience as a pivotal and integral part of their personal and philosophical development.
The Power of Thick and Thin Desires
The podcast explores the concept of thick and thin desires and how they shape our lives. The speaker discusses the evolution of their own thinking and the realization that desires are not equal and should be discerned. They emphasize the social nature of desires and the importance of relationships in shaping them. The podcast highlights the need for discernment and the challenges of categorizing desires as thick or thin. It also discusses the impact of external mediators of desire, such as celebrities, and the influence of social media, which has turned the world into a giant fresh manistan. The discussion delves into the complexities of desires and the need for self-examination in navigating modern life.
The Influence of Social Media and Unfulfilled Desires
The podcast examines the impact of social media on desires and mental health. It discusses how social media platforms act as machineries of desire projection, leading to unfulfilled desires and constant comparisons. The speaker reflects on the difficulty of navigating modern life for young people and the urgency of self-awareness and discernment. They highlight the mental health crisis among teenagers and attribute it to the exposure to unattainable desires. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-examination and the need to develop strategies to cope with the draining effects of social media on desires.
The Impact of Overstimulation on Desire and Mental Health
Overexposure to desires and stimuli in today's hyperconnected world can lead to a lack of desire, exhaustion, and even depression. Just like consuming excessive caffeine can result in dysfunction of the adrenal glands, constant exposure to desires can overwhelm our minds and hinder our ability to fulfill them. This overstimulation can be compared to exposure to radiation, with negative effects on our mental and emotional well-being. The loss of desire or feeling of hopelessness is a common symptom, highlighting the need for a balance in our exposure to desires and stimuli.
Mimetic Rivalry and Double Binds in Relationships
Mimetic rivalry, or the tendency to imitate and compare ourselves to others, can lead to unhealthy dynamics in relationships. Double binds occur when two people become internal mediators of desire for each other, often resulting in a harmful cycle of competition and rivalry. This can happen in various contexts, including workplaces, friendships, and romantic relationships. Unhealthy competition and rivalry can negatively impact individual identity and threaten the authenticity of a relationship. Awareness of these dynamics and fostering open communication are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding harmful mimetic behaviors.
To live the examined life, we have to examine our own desires. Luke Burgis joins Amit Varma in episode 337 of The Seen and the Unseen to share his insights into human nature -- and to talk about his own evolution as a person and a thinker. (FOR FULL LINKED SHOW NOTES, GO TO SEENUNSEEN.IN.) Also check out: 1. Luke Burgis on Twitter, Instagram and his own website. 2. Wanting -- Luke Burgis. 3. Anti-Mimetic -- Luke's newsletter. 4. Ride/Drive -- Another newsletter by Luke. 5. Speaking Out (Of Order) -- Luke Burgis. 6. Podcast Heroes -- Luke Burgis. 7. A Meditation on Form -- Amit Varma. 8. Why Are My Episodes so Long? -- Amit Varma. 9. If You Are a Creator, This Is Your Time -- Amit Varma. 10. On Exactitude in Science — Jorge Luis Borges. 11. Getting out from under the influencers -- Luke Burgis on Look Ma' No Hands, Laura Max Rose's podcast. 12. Marshall McLuhan on Britannica, Wikipedia and Amazon. 13. The Power of Mimetic Desire -- Luke Burgis on The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish. 14. Dietrich von Hildebrand on Wikipedia and Amazon. 15. Leisure: The Basis of Culture -- Josef Pieper. 16. Natasha Badhwar Lives the Examined Life — Episode 301 of The Seen and the Unseen. 17. Dunbar's Number. 18. Imaginary Number — Vijay Seshadri. 19. The Loneliness of the Indian Man — Episode 303 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Nikhil Taneja). 20. The Loneliness of the Indian Woman — Episode 259 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Shrayana Bhattacharya). 21. How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating -- Dani Blum. 22. The Pathless Path -- Paul Millerd. 23. How To Find Your True Desires -- Luke Burgis on Paul Millerd's Pathless Path podcast. 24. Songs of Surrender -- U2. 25. Gurwinder Bhogal Examines Human Nature -- Episode 331 of The Seen and the Unseen. 26. Gurwinder Bhogal's recent megathread -- and his tweet about the learning pyramid. 27. René Girard on Amazon and Wikipedia. 28. Man's Search For Meaning -- Viktor Frankl. 29. The Gentle Wisdom of Pratap Bhanu Mehta — Episode 300 of The Seen and the Unseen. 30. Mystagogues Wanted -- Luke Burgis. 31. Cormac McCarthy on Amazon. 32. Suyash Rai Embraces India’s Complexity -- Episode 307 of The Seen and the Unseen. 33. Religion and Ideology in Indian Society — Episode 124 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Suyash Rai). 34. What People Are Really Doing When They Play Hard to Get -- Luke Burgis. 35. The Two Gentlemen of Verona -- William Shakespeare. 36. Blood Meridian -- Cormac McCarthy. 37. Aesop's Fables. 38. The Crisis of Political Imagination -- Glenn Tinder. 39. A Hidden Life -- Terrence Malick. 40. Paterson -- Jim Jarmusch. Amit Varma and Ajay Shah have launched a new video podcast. Check out Everything is Everything on YouTube. Check out Amit’s online course, The Art of Clear Writing. And subscribe to The India Uncut Newsletter. It’s free! Episode art: ‘Look' by Simahina.
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